Hi there, this is my first post on here so I'm really nervous but I want to know what you guys think and if you have any advice for someone in my situation. Essentially, I'm a 17 year old female who has been made to feel like a freak her entire life. I've always struggled making friends, eye contact is a massive struggle for me, along with many other things. For most of my life, the idea that I ever could have autism seemed like a weird concept because despite all my struggles, I still am relatively extroverted and don't have much sensory sensitivity.
From this, you're probably wondering how I even began to suspect that I may be autistic. These suspicions began in February time when my school counsellor who I'd been seeing since September had told me that she needed to break confidentiality due to me being in a crisis and a potential danger to my own safety. The school counsellor talked to my head of house (he's responsible for pretty much every issue related to my wellbeing at school) and then he phoned in my mum so that they could have a chat about me and how I was doing. I wasn't there for this chat, but I was later told by my head of house that it lasted just under 2 hours. My mum told me that at the end the two of them had come to the conclusion that I may potentially be autistic due to many of the traits that I show and the very evident social gap that exists between me and those around me. When I found this out, I did lots of research on autism and even wrote a 3 page long list of reasons why I may potentially have it - my symptoms were listed under relevant subheadings. I talked to my mum about getting an assessment and she said that she didn't want me to, even though she thought I was autistic, because she didn't want me to be labelled with something that has such negative connotations in our society. She then told me that I could wait until the summer holidays and see if I still wanted to pursue a diagnosis then. The summer came and I wasn't really struggling anymore, I'm now out of crisis. The whole idea of getting a diagnosis isn't at the forefront of everything anymore as I'm starting to make more of an effort to feel better. But then I saw an instagram post about autism and it made me think about things again. Maybe I am autistic, maybe I should pursue that diagnosis? Now I know that my local NHS trust uses something called Healios for the diagnostic process which apparently cuts down wait times so that shouldn't be a problem for me and also many of my teachers/staff at school are behind me going and getting a diagnosis (unfortunately we don't have a SENCO who can conduct them at school). But, my main obstacle is my mum. Obviously in autism diagnosis they'll want to chat to her but her resistance to me going out and getting one makes me scared. Not only that, but I don't exhibit many of the typical autism symptoms such as sensory sensitivities but I experience a lot of social and communicative problems. My mum told me about a month ago that my issues seem to have gotten worse in teenage years which means that it's probably repressed trauma from being bullied in primary school or something like that which makes me wonder even more. I don't think I'm traumatised as I have next to no symptoms associated with PTSD or having trauma. I honestly don't know where to go forward. Can anyone help?
If anyone has any advice or even any experience getting diagnosed on the NHS (specifically with Healios as that's what I would go through) then please reply to this or send me a message. Anything will be greatly appreciated.
Have a great day!! 
