My daughter who is six years old has just been diagnoised .I do not know how to tell her as i fear she will not understand what I am trying to say.I might wait till she is about eight years. Any advice on this ?
My daughter who is six years old has just been diagnoised .I do not know how to tell her as i fear she will not understand what I am trying to say.I might wait till she is about eight years. Any advice on this ?
BabyBlue said:My daughter who is six years old has just been diagnoised .I do not know how to tell her as i fear she will not understand what I am trying to say.I might wait till she is about eight years. Any advice on this ?
my son was diagnosed aged about 3 or 4 and he's now 14. I stressed about when was the right time to tell him so I really sympathise with you right now.
I think he was about 9 or 10 when I told him. On the way home from school we would talk about his day and I would ask him to tell me about it and then, after listening to a long ramble about every detail under the sun, I would summarise the salient points and tell him that these were the most important.
One day, when it just felt like he was old enough ( couldn't predict that, it just felt ok) I told him the reason that I summarised/pointed out things was that there was something different about how his brain worked to most other people. I said that everyone was different anyway but that his brain was really cool but just processed things in a different way. I said that there a name for it and told him. I then told him about Albert Einstein and other people ASD and stressed all the positives. I then told him that certain things he would find more difficult, but that no one person is perfect and that we all find certain things hard. I don't remember him asking a million questions at that moment so more and more must have come out gradually in the days/weeks that followed. He asked me and I answered - I only reacted rather than forced anything.
So, in summary, (I think at least), that you will just know when she's old enough to understand. I think 6 is probably too young and maybe 11/12 -when they start secondary school - is too old. Between then, you're the best placed person to know and you need to believe in yourself/your knowledge of your child and you will be the one to know when. I couldn't and still can't see any advantage in forcing it, the time will just come and you'll suddenly think - right, I'm going to address it.
Just as an afterthought for you. I was completely devastated of course by his diagnosis, but, the 14 year old boy/young man I have now is a complete delight and a credit to society, let alone to the ASD community. The despair I once felt so desperately at his diagnosis has turned to an immense awe and proudness that I have produced such a wonderful human being, who might have difficulties in areas I can't even begin to comprehend how you wouldn't just understand naturally, but has attributes that I would never have no matter how I tried.
ASD is a curse but a blessing as well and I can honestly tell you that, given a magic wand, there is nothing I would change about my son - I read something similar on this web site 10 years ago and didn't believe it, but I swear to you this is how I feel today, 10 years down the line.
i send you every best wish and hope you feel confident in knowing when will be time best time to tell your daughter about what makes her and her brain special.
kindest regards, 280JJ
BabyBlue said:My daughter who is six years old has just been diagnoised .I do not know how to tell her as i fear she will not understand what I am trying to say.I might wait till she is about eight years. Any advice on this ?
my son was diagnosed aged about 3 or 4 and he's now 14. I stressed about when was the right time to tell him so I really sympathise with you right now.
I think he was about 9 or 10 when I told him. On the way home from school we would talk about his day and I would ask him to tell me about it and then, after listening to a long ramble about every detail under the sun, I would summarise the salient points and tell him that these were the most important.
One day, when it just felt like he was old enough ( couldn't predict that, it just felt ok) I told him the reason that I summarised/pointed out things was that there was something different about how his brain worked to most other people. I said that everyone was different anyway but that his brain was really cool but just processed things in a different way. I said that there a name for it and told him. I then told him about Albert Einstein and other people ASD and stressed all the positives. I then told him that certain things he would find more difficult, but that no one person is perfect and that we all find certain things hard. I don't remember him asking a million questions at that moment so more and more must have come out gradually in the days/weeks that followed. He asked me and I answered - I only reacted rather than forced anything.
So, in summary, (I think at least), that you will just know when she's old enough to understand. I think 6 is probably too young and maybe 11/12 -when they start secondary school - is too old. Between then, you're the best placed person to know and you need to believe in yourself/your knowledge of your child and you will be the one to know when. I couldn't and still can't see any advantage in forcing it, the time will just come and you'll suddenly think - right, I'm going to address it.
Just as an afterthought for you. I was completely devastated of course by his diagnosis, but, the 14 year old boy/young man I have now is a complete delight and a credit to society, let alone to the ASD community. The despair I once felt so desperately at his diagnosis has turned to an immense awe and proudness that I have produced such a wonderful human being, who might have difficulties in areas I can't even begin to comprehend how you wouldn't just understand naturally, but has attributes that I would never have no matter how I tried.
ASD is a curse but a blessing as well and I can honestly tell you that, given a magic wand, there is nothing I would change about my son - I read something similar on this web site 10 years ago and didn't believe it, but I swear to you this is how I feel today, 10 years down the line.
i send you every best wish and hope you feel confident in knowing when will be time best time to tell your daughter about what makes her and her brain special.
kindest regards, 280JJ
