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Gender Dysphoria

Tish

I'm 51 and was diagnosed with ASD at 49.

While discussing sexuality the other day, my daughters and I were trying to convince my (male) partner that transgenderism is a real thing and not a fad. During the conversation I said that when I thought about it I didn't feel specifically female, despite being assigned so at birth. The more I think about it the more I think that I am gender dysphoric. I have never felt particularly feminine, although I'm certainly not masculine either. If anything I think I've always thought that I'm a bit above all that! Does anybody empathise? I see that there might be a link between autism and gender dysphoria on this web site.

If I'm gender dysmorphic how could I not have noticed? I was shocked at my ASD diagnosis too, so is being wholly un-self aware an autistic thing as well?!

Parents

  • Having a weird/atypical relationship with gender can definitely be part of an autistic experience. As gender is largely socially driven, of course something that affects your perception of social constructs and interaction with social constructs would effect your perception of gender. 

    A lot of people feel uncomfortable with their gender once they start examining it, this does not necessarily mean that you are experiencing gender dysphoria, it just means you might be a little uncomfortable with the expectations and stereotypes with your gender, or you may be genuinely dysphoric and have just filed it into one of those little feelings you've been ignoring because you don't want to deal with it. 

    Knowing you're gender dysphoric also doesn't necessarily mean you have to do anything about it. If there isn't anything specific you dislike (pronouns, your body, clothing, female titles) you may be fine just going along with things as they have been. There are many non-binary (neither male or female) people who are just non-binary, without using they/them pronouns, confirming to any sort of androgyny, or any other sort of change. They just know that they are non-binary.

    Personally, I couldn't just ignore it or carry on as I was, but that was due to specific body dysphoria which had been around far before I had a word for what I was experiencing and issues around pronouns and titles, so I made some changes.

    Having a gender crisis isn't a bad thing, and doesn't necessarily mean anything has to change. But it's certainly possible to kind of bumble along without really noticing or labelling it for a while until it gets confronted. Have fun with working this out. Feel free to message me if you need an ear to rant into/chat

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  • Having a weird/atypical relationship with gender can definitely be part of an autistic experience. As gender is largely socially driven, of course something that affects your perception of social constructs and interaction with social constructs would effect your perception of gender. 

    A lot of people feel uncomfortable with their gender once they start examining it, this does not necessarily mean that you are experiencing gender dysphoria, it just means you might be a little uncomfortable with the expectations and stereotypes with your gender, or you may be genuinely dysphoric and have just filed it into one of those little feelings you've been ignoring because you don't want to deal with it. 

    Knowing you're gender dysphoric also doesn't necessarily mean you have to do anything about it. If there isn't anything specific you dislike (pronouns, your body, clothing, female titles) you may be fine just going along with things as they have been. There are many non-binary (neither male or female) people who are just non-binary, without using they/them pronouns, confirming to any sort of androgyny, or any other sort of change. They just know that they are non-binary.

    Personally, I couldn't just ignore it or carry on as I was, but that was due to specific body dysphoria which had been around far before I had a word for what I was experiencing and issues around pronouns and titles, so I made some changes.

    Having a gender crisis isn't a bad thing, and doesn't necessarily mean anything has to change. But it's certainly possible to kind of bumble along without really noticing or labelling it for a while until it gets confronted. Have fun with working this out. Feel free to message me if you need an ear to rant into/chat

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