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Hi - new to this forum and looking for advice for my 12 year old!

Elzie

Hi, I'm new to this place and really looking for a bit of advice.

I have a 12 year old daughter who has been quite a handful for the last 6 years.  She has had sensory issues where she would go into tantrums because her socks "felt funny" or her clothes were "too cold".  As well as that, I have gone through so much clothes to buy for her as one day it will feel fine and the next day "it doesn't fit, it's sore".  She also has a problem with being around people who are eating and ends up eating alone at school because she cannot abide kids squashing their sandwiches or opening their mouths when eating.  I assumed she was just a picky fussy child but now feel her issues are getting harder to deal with - most people say to me "its just her age".  What people dont realise is that with her there is NO REASONING!  On top of this, she is very smart for her age and uses words and expressions that none of her friends understand, ie. she's too smart for her own good!  She hates being touched so I cannot get a hug from her and if I or anyone cough or sneeze near her she goes ballistic.  Is this normal behaviour?  I feel I want to have her assessed and I have been open and honest to her and said this.  She flat refuses to go to the doctors with me.  What can I do?  Her tantrums and idiosyncrasies are driving my partner and me apart.  I'm scared that when she becoming a teenager we will have an out of control child living with us!!  Any advice would be appreciated.  My sister's son has recently had a diagnosis of autism and thinks I should try and get my daughter some help but I cant see how to if my daughter refuses to co-operate.

  • I was ok-ish with tights as long as I didn't have to wear anything over them. Consequently in most of my childhood photos I am wearing just tights and a top. I had compulsions to bite my tops if the fabric wasn't right, and hated labels in the neck. I was also terrified of dogs, fireworks, vacuums and the pressure cooker, and would gag on many foods. 

    I really wish my parents had taken my sensory issues more seriously, but thankfully I grew up in a country where school uniforms aren't worn.

    It's definitely a good idea to get your daughter assessed, don't let anyone fob you off. 

  • My daughter as the same problem with tights and socks she refuses to wear tights and it takes ages to put her socks on. She won't wear jeans only leggings with cycling shorts over the top which looks odd your daughter sounds so much like my daughter.

    xxx

  • Thanks to you all for your replies.

    It has made me realise that this cant go on any longer.  I could kick myself for allowing it to go on this long.  I have very little income as it is without having to keep buying socks/shoes/knickers on a weekly basis because "the others dont feel right anymore" and probably could have done with extra income for these situations.  I even bought the proper socks on ebay for her - the ones without any seams - and they cost quite a lot of money....she STILL didnt like them as they "felt too tight".  Oh there were moments where I swear I had to just walk away from her and cool off in another room.  Thankfully, these expensive seamless socks I managed to resell on ebay - albeit at a loss!   Like you, Azalea, she will NOT wear tights and because of this has spent many a cold freezing day going to school in skirt and socks.  Why doesnt she wear trousers you ask??  Because the only trousers she will wear are leggings and that's unacceptable for school uniform.  What a girl!  Mind you, I love her to bits and she can have her good moments - just not enough!!!!  Once again, thanks for everyone's kind replies.x

  • harriet has ocd she washes her hands all the time her skins very dry and sore

  • Hello 4littleavengers,

    I have had OCD since the age of 3, or certainly as long ago as I can remember. I also have Aspergers, and was only diagnosed 4 years ago, age 21.

    When I was 3, I kept on saying 'does it matter if I touched it'?, repeatedly, until I got reassurance. I remember getting very anxious over my ponytail, worrying that my hairband was coming lose. I would repeat 'my ponytail, my ponytail', over and over again.

    I developed hand washing compulsions from the age of 7 onwards, and before this I had a phobia of fireworks and the school fire alarm. I was a very anxious, nervous child, and I got easily overwhelmed.

    I think you are doing well to get your daughter diagnosed at this young age.

  • Its like reading about my own daughter! shes five and we are going through the process of getting a diagnoses her doctor is thinking aspergers we are going for blood test tomorrow to rule out fragile x .We are finding our daughters behaviour difficult at the moment. I would see your GP asap its a long process to actully get a diagnoses we have been waiting 7 months so far and we don't see her doctor again till june. My daughter is also very bright for her age as an answer for everything. The other day my daughter hit the cat because it sneezed harriets got a big issue with germs she hates sticky fingers won't share sweets or drinks and she is always washing her hands till they are sore. Looking back i think My brother had the same sort of issues but he never had an offical diagnoses he's 34 now he doesn't work never goes out hates men and can't look people in the eye doesn't talk much he also as ocd thats why i'm fighting so hard to get her diagnosed i want her to have a good happy life.