19 year old daughter unable to accept ASD diagnosis

Hi

I'm new to this forum but at the end of my tether so thought I've got nothing to lose.

My daughter is 19 and was given her diagnosis a few years ago after school refusing and self harming came to light.

She has always refused to accept her diagnosis and it's become a subject we ( my husband and myself) dare not mention.

She also has depression ( on sertraline ) and what's been classed as disorganised eating disorder.

She's always struggled to keep friends. She's had several occasions where groups have eventually distanced themselves from her which obviously makes her and us extremely sad.

She is now away at university and is repeating her first year. She, like many people, had an awful year last year and it resulted in her being unable to submit work in order to pass the year. She has a real issue with organising herself and keeping on top of emails so misses deadlines etc.

Because she won't or can't accept she has ASD she is not asking for help and i see the same problem happening again.

My main concern ATM is with friendships. She lives in a shared house and I think the others have probably got tired of her being down or a bit "different"

All I want is for her to be accepted and to be happy but I don't know of a way to help her.

Sorry this is a ramble- I'm a bit emotional ATM

If anyone has had a similar experience it might help me to know how best they approached it

Parents
  • I know your daughter finds it difficult to accept that she is autistic, but talking about it will help her understand herself better. She can also then explain what being autistic means to her friends.

    I know currently that autism is a sensitive topic to broach, but has she heard of the term neurodiversity? 

    She may find it useful to know that an autistic brain is just different as currently she perceives the term ASD negatively. Do you use the term ASD when talking to her? Autism is a better term to use as it is neutral.

    If open to the idea, you could suggest she looks at autistic YouTubers similar to her age. This may help  her relate and potentially start discussions.

Reply
  • I know your daughter finds it difficult to accept that she is autistic, but talking about it will help her understand herself better. She can also then explain what being autistic means to her friends.

    I know currently that autism is a sensitive topic to broach, but has she heard of the term neurodiversity? 

    She may find it useful to know that an autistic brain is just different as currently she perceives the term ASD negatively. Do you use the term ASD when talking to her? Autism is a better term to use as it is neutral.

    If open to the idea, you could suggest she looks at autistic YouTubers similar to her age. This may help  her relate and potentially start discussions.

Children
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