Please can someone help me to understand this or to give me advice/reasons why this happened today. Am i being unreasonable etc etc.... I am not a happy mum today.
Ok here goes...
As in my previous thread Amy my (now 16 yr old) daughter has been struggling for a lot of years... friendships/social skills and the feeling of "not being there". Amy has researched and researched this of late and is convinced she has "de-personalisation or diss-association"
OK today - she came in from school and said she was called out of class to go and see a lady who had come to see her. This was a woman from "speech and language department"... and had come to ask her questions and to talk to her - i presume about our last appointment with a consultant 3 months ago!!! I wasnt informed she was going to the school to see Amy, i would have wanted to have been there as there are also things i'd like to ask her myself - even if i sat quiet and then asked her later when amy returned to her lessons.
To say i'm rather upset about it, is an understatement.
Amy was asked:
- who she lived with (she lives with me, dad, sister)
- relationship with mum and dad
- who is at home usually and can she talk to her mum
- is mum at home during the day usually (yes, i work p/t)
- what are her hobbies (dance class, dog training/showing, cinema etc)
- what hobbies and interests do we all do as a family (lots)
- do we work
- does she like school (answer no)
- does she like the teachers (some no)
- has she got friends (yes a few)
- has she been bullied (yes on and off for 5 yrs of secondary school)
- what was the bullying about
- AND MANY MORE QUESTIONS WHICH I CANT THINK OF OFFHAND.
Amy said she was in about an hour talking to the therapist?? or whoever she was.
I had absolutely no idea they were seeing her at school, she was in on her own, no teacher, no one...! i really think that given her age she should have had an advocate in with her... or am i being wrong here? i really dont know to be fair.
Maybe they wanted to know about her home life on her own incase of anything underlying there, and i fully respect that.
What i object to is the fact i wasnt aware that my 16 yr old daughter was going to be pulled out of class at school. She then had to go back to her lessons ....
She said she could talk to the lady (who was roughly mid to late twenties in age!!)
She said she may go back and have another "little chat" to Amy again. No mention of having mum in with her.
I was under the impression that her consultant was to be sending an appointment out for Amy to attend the hospital.
Has this happened to anyone else? have parents not been informed?
am i being unreasonable?
I telephoned speech and language dept up when she came in from school, no one could give me any answers as to why this woman went to the school, the staff member on the other end of the phone said unsure why this has happened and she understood my concerns. she said that they will get back to me tomorrow about it, that she'll get the staff member concerned to phone me with what happened.
I have so many questions and even amy was asking her things and telling her how she felt and the therapist (or whoever she was) said "oh thats strange" "i've never heard of that before" - this was when amy said she was having the feelings of de-personalisation (feelings of not being there)
The therapist was taking notes when she was asking questions, but not once when amy was trying to explain how she was feeling. The therapist even said, she hadnt heard of de-personalisation before.
I am so worried, confused, angry and extremely concerned.
Should i be???
please - anyone out there - please reply with what you think x, thank you so much x
Denise x
