Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello All,
Since my ASD diagnosis earlier this month, I have been having more and more nights with insomnia. I’m even writing this message close to 4am!
Can anyone give me advice on how I can get a goodnight’s sleep or share what has helped you with your insomnia?
Thanks in advance
Ruth
RuthTaylor said:Can anyone give me advice on how I can get a goodnight’s sleep or share what has helped you with your insomnia?
In my case I have hypersensitivity to ultraviolet light ~ which I find too intense to cope with during the first part of day, and it would leave me too stimulated to sleep at night, and since I have been going to bed at about 7AM in the morning and getting up about 2PM in the afternoon ~ I have been getting regular and consistent sleep.
Things do get a bit tricky though with day shifters that insist on doing morning appointments only ~ as I have no stamina for lost sleep at all anymore, but it is so worth it having forty years of extreme insomnia involving up two week intervals without sleep as becoming increasingly distant memories.
I used to pass out but still sleep-walk and wake up in various parts of the countryside, numerous villages, towns, cities and peoples houses and however many other places ~ without a single clue as to how I got there or where there actually was.
Anyway ~ you may well be having what is referred to as the beginning of your diagnostic hangover, as adjusting to the certainty of being autistic is rather an emotional, mental and physical shift ~ particularly after having had to get referred and wait however long for the assessment, so the wind down and processing time for which and after the diagnosis experientially is usually a significant factor for feeling unsettled and or bewildered and so fourth for a while.
Basically one has to mourn the passing of one's old sense of self and learn to care for one's new sense of self, with the seven stages of grieve being a good model for mapping what's adjusting with what and so forth, with one example as follows:
The initial reaction to loss includes a feeling of shock. Learning someone you love is gone creates a numbness and fills a person with doubt. This is a form of emotional protection and can last for weeks. The time experienced often reflects the suddenness of the death, but there is no cookie cutter recipe for grief. It’s not uncommon for someone to go through the shock phase throughout the duration of funeral preparation simply to get through the process.
The next stage of grief reflects the stubbornness of the human spirit. The mind goes into a state of denial to avoid the pain and reality of loss. A person can deny a loved one’s passing for weeks no matter the circumstances around the death. People experience other kinds of denial as well. For instance, a grieving person may deny that the loss affects them in a serious manner. Denial is a type of self-preservation much like shock. A person’s experience with the stage helps shelter them from the eventual pain and ensuing stages of grief.
As a person begins to feel the full realization of someone’s death, their numbness leads the way to extreme emotional pain and suffering. Guilt often accompanies this pain. A person may feel survivor’s guilt or a constant sense of “what might have been.” They may feel remorse over missed opportunities or things they did or didn’t do with their loved one before their passing. It’s important to experience the full depth of pain when going through grief. Masking this stage with alcohol or drugs only makes things worse in the long run.
The negotiation phase occurs when a grieving person needs an emotional release from the shock and pain of loss. This phase involves wrestling with fate or “the powers that be” to try and make sense of loss. Of course, there is nothing one can do to bring someone back from the dead.
People going through this phase tend to lash out at the ones around them as an unwarranted reaction to the feelings of helplessness. One may place undue blame on someone else for the death. Grief strains the relationships of the living. To preserve these relationships, it’s imperative to find a way to release these extreme emotions in a healthy manner. Failing to do so may permanently damage ties you have with friends, family, or co-workers.
People who never experienced depression before have a hard time with this stage. Depression is all-encompassing and consumes your life. While it may seem extreme and worrying to go through a depression stage it is perfectly healthy to do so when grieving. After all the energy expelled and mental anguish of the other stages, depression gives you time to reflect and recover. Taking ample time to feel the loneliness and isolation make it easier to re-enter the world when you are ready.
When going through depression, avoid people who encourage you to “snap out of it.” For one, you cannot control your emotions that way. Instead, let yourself feel the despair and emptiness– just as you let yourself feel the other stages. This is a significant period of reflection and recuperation.
As a person adjusts to life without the person they grieve, the depression and other extreme feelings fade away. Common signs of acceptance include:
Acceptance does not equate to happiness. Rather, acceptance is the stage where a grieving person makes a conscious decision to move on and work towards a feeling of normality again. After a significant loss, a person rarely feels the same way they were before again. Acceptance occurs when a person stops looking towards the past and focuses on the future.
The diagnostic hangover rather than the insomnia tends to last about four and a half years ~ with the first year being for some the most difficult to adjust to what with it being all unfamiliar and everything, but as the expression goes ~ mileage and territory may vary.
Also with having come to the end of the assessment and diagnostic stresses and strains ~ one can be to various extents somewhat depleted and as such overtired, so some nutritional, mineral, fluid and general pampering can be quite requisite to restore one's equilibrium quite possibly.
Thank you very much for this Deep Thought, sorry for my late reply. Your message and advice really touched me and I completely related to what you said about diagnostic hangover. It definitely has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm looking to go back to counselling soon but would like to see if I can arrange some kind of post diagnostic counselling.