Concerned that I might be told I’m not autistic at my assessment

Your friends could well think they know more about Autism than they actually do (I find that to be true of most people, to be honest!). Going by your name I'm guessing you identify as female (I'm really sorry if I've got that wrong) and we Autistic women present very differently to what most people have been led to expect. All the stereotypes of Autism very much centre around males and the male presentation. As others have suggested, if your friends aren't experts then it's best to take their opinions with a pinch of salt. Don't let them complicate things; this process is tough enough without ignorant (and I don't mean that in a damning way; we're all ignorant about things that don't affect us unless we educate ourselves) people putting their two penny worth in. Sometimes, as well, people think they're saying the right thing when they say, 'You don't seem Autistic.' They've been led to believe Autism is a terrible thing and something to be feared, and that Autistic people are incapacitated and are always obviously very 'different' and can't function in the real world, so if someone says in conversation that they are Autistic or think they might be Autistic, their first response is to say something along the lines of, 'Oh, I wouldn't have guessed!' or 'Really? You don't look it/seem it'. So them saying that might not even reflect their true feelings. I'd strongly suggest putting their words to one side if it's bothering you.

If you think that there's a chance you might be on the spectrum, then you're doing the right thing by getting an assessment and some professional opinion. You have a right to do that, because you have a right to answers to help you understand yourself. You're definitely not wasting your time, even if after the assessment professionals say they don't think you're Autistic. I really hope the assessment gives you the clarification you need and deserve. If you feel up to it, please do come back and let us know how it went. Feel free to share your nerves and worries with us over the next week as well.

Thanks for your lovely message Giraffe, please forgive me for my late reply.  Yes that's true, I've had a lot of comments like "you don't seem autistic" "oh no you just battle with social anxiety and low self esteem" "it is trauma from your childhood" and so on, Yes that's right, I am a woman. I don't present the stereotypical symptoms of autism in males.  I agree, I think they are well meaning but a bit ignorant. 

It took a while for me to convince my husband that autism generally shows itself differently in females.  He only knows autism  by the traits in his son and my brother who are both autistic.

I found your advice very helpful and a breath of fresh air.  You're right I need to put their words to one side and take their well meaning comments with a pinch of salt.  

My assessment is tomorrow at 7pm and I'm nervous and getting prepared.  Last night couldn't sleep and tonight I'm not sure if I'll sleep much.  Been making notes for the assessment.

I'll keep you posted (even if Psychiatrist turns round and says I'm not autistic) x

Youre nervous because it means so much to you to find out who you really are.

Thanks aidie

Thanks aidie