I have aspergers, generalised anxiety disorder, psychotic episodes, ptsd, ocd and now severe asthma I get told to see the world positively but my bad experiences outweigh the good and is making me mentally ill if I could erase my past I wouldn't be suffering half of these conditions x

I also have ptsd from being forced into watching horror by people I thought were my friends but no I'm an adult and coz of the bullies not being taught right I can't sense danger neither does my fiance so I find the world terrifying x

I mean you're a complex case with an interaction of autism, psychosis and by the sounds of it anxiety plus with a history of bad reactions you should be immediately referred to a mental health specialist probably a psychiatrists. I bet your GP will be reluctant to do this because the waiting list will be huge you'll may not be seen for some time. I mean you might try going to your GP and say that you think you ought to be referred and because of your bad reaction you don't really want to try any more medication unless its prescribed by a specialist.

I'm sorry to hear this. And it's OK to tell your GP you want to but don't know how to trust them after this experience. In fact, this may be a crucial moment to learn to listen or pay attention to your own biology? Up one size in a short time is alarming. 2 is a serious marker something is wrong. 

When I was younger I would see/hear ghost images or ghost sounds (for lack of a better word). My dreams are still incredibly vivid. At one point I became angry with this as it was not OK that my life should be surrounded by scary things. I wanted to know where was the enlightenment? The inspiring other-worldly / inter-dimensional stuff. Doctor Who moments.

I'm not sure if it was an over-active brain that needed to simply dive into physics, metaphysics, systems, micro and macro elements... but I hunted through religions and science, philosophy, etc. and eventually it helped. Finding community helped. It's important to connect - we can each get lost and stuck in isolation.  It's good to just talk with others who aren't afraid of what you experience. And I've not experienced anyone here who would respond negatively to someone exposing the hardships they go through. After all, we're all only human and one neuro-slip up away from sliding into an abyss. Sometimes I have found that diving into a prolific novel or music fuelled by hope can also soothe the imagination. And that imagination, when harnessed can build space ships and bio-domes. 

I no longer watch any entertainment I'd consider nightmarish. There are images which still haunt my brain and I have learned to create a habit/discipline by forcing myself to envision something which overpowers that image. My brother was in the military and watched his friends die, the PTSD was only helped by mushrooms (he's in the US) and now he has a service dog. Animals can be a profound help.  Perhaps the drugs aren't right for you. Or maybe there's something more natural which can help. The most pressing thing is finding relief from an out-of-control brain and if it's possible, meditative practices to redesign what you can. 

Are there ways you can be more protective of what your mind intakes visually and sonically? Are there aesthetics which help?

I ended up in hospital they took me off it straight away but I'm on no medication coz I had bad side effects to the last one I'm scared to try any other would rather go through therapy 

Report all side effects back to your GP

do not be scared of your GP.   a large weight gain should be reported to your GP.