Selective Mutism - any advice?

Hello everyone,

My eight year old daughter is soon to be assessed for ASD and I expect there will be a diagnosis of ASD/Aspergers.

One of the most significant problems she faces is selective mutism. She is terrified of talking to people she doesn't know well (i.e. everyone except parents, brother and one friend she made at her old school). Even Grandma/Grandad have trouble getting her to speak, although she speaks freely with her immediate family. Everything I've read suggests it's an anxiety response and she is extremely self-conscious in general. With us though, she's a different girl - happy, funny and giggly a lot of the time. She'll occasionally be like this with others, but it's fleeting and never seems to last.

Anyone got any ideas for how to help? I've read a lot about selective mutism unrelated to autism, but the strategies there suggest something more of a pure phobia about speaking. With my daughter, I think it's different - it's anxiety about social communication (not surprisingly)... I'm worried it could get worse, but don't know how to stem the tide of any regression (mercifully, she just recently started talking to her childminder again who she goes to once a week, but I've been worried there's been a general regressive trend lately, aside from this).

Any ideas would be very welcome. Autism-related literature on the subject is thin on the ground - or I'm looking in the wrong places....

Parents

Azpie over 13 years ago

I had selective mutism as a child but it stemmed directly from literal thinking, on one of my first days at school the teacher said we were there to learn not to talk(because all the kids were chattering). I took her words literally and did not speak throughout primary school. I don't recall much from when I was in the infants part but my mother told me recently that the other kids would speak for me as I would whisper to one or two of them. By the time I was in juniors (so age 7 up) I still would not speak out loud but I would whisper (including hands up to the person's ear) and I clearly remember teachers telling me off, one in particualr was very nasty and kept telling me off for not speaking. My mum tried to get me to speak in school as out of school they couldn't get me to shut up, but as soon as I went through the gates I wouldn't speak out loud, I can remember as I got older (so around 8/9) I would psych myself up before school that all I had to do was speak it was simple, just open my mouth and talk, same as at home but as soon as I tried it in school I just couldn't this wave of what must have been anxiety/panic /whatever hit me and I could not speak.
It all changed when I went to secondary school, psychologically I must have allowed myself to speak again, I was still very quiet but I was able to speak out loud. Even now I tend to be so quiet people ask me to speak up and I sometimes (if I'm having a bad day) still have the odd time when I just cannot speak because I'm either overwhelmed emotionally or just panicking.
Have any of your children ever been able to give a reason as to why they can't speak? Can they expalin at all what happens when they try to speak in school/public? I wish you all luck with finding a solution.

Reply

Azpie over 13 years ago

I had selective mutism as a child but it stemmed directly from literal thinking, on one of my first days at school the teacher said we were there to learn not to talk(because all the kids were chattering). I took her words literally and did not speak throughout primary school. I don't recall much from when I was in the infants part but my mother told me recently that the other kids would speak for me as I would whisper to one or two of them. By the time I was in juniors (so age 7 up) I still would not speak out loud but I would whisper (including hands up to the person's ear) and I clearly remember teachers telling me off, one in particualr was very nasty and kept telling me off for not speaking. My mum tried to get me to speak in school as out of school they couldn't get me to shut up, but as soon as I went through the gates I wouldn't speak out loud, I can remember as I got older (so around 8/9) I would psych myself up before school that all I had to do was speak it was simple, just open my mouth and talk, same as at home but as soon as I tried it in school I just couldn't this wave of what must have been anxiety/panic /whatever hit me and I could not speak.
It all changed when I went to secondary school, psychologically I must have allowed myself to speak again, I was still very quiet but I was able to speak out loud. Even now I tend to be so quiet people ask me to speak up and I sometimes (if I'm having a bad day) still have the odd time when I just cannot speak because I'm either overwhelmed emotionally or just panicking.
Have any of your children ever been able to give a reason as to why they can't speak? Can they expalin at all what happens when they try to speak in school/public? I wish you all luck with finding a solution.

Children

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