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Selective Mutism - any advice?

Pageant

Hello everyone,

My eight year old daughter is soon to be assessed for ASD and I expect there will be a diagnosis of ASD/Aspergers.

One of the most significant problems she faces is selective mutism.  She is terrified of talking to people she doesn't know well (i.e. everyone except parents, brother and one friend she made at her old school).  Even Grandma/Grandad have trouble getting her to speak, although she speaks freely with her immediate family.  Everything I've read suggests it's an anxiety response and she is extremely self-conscious in general.  With us though, she's a different girl - happy, funny and giggly a lot of the time.  She'll occasionally be like this with others, but it's fleeting and never seems to last.

Anyone got any ideas for how to help?  I've read a lot about selective mutism unrelated to autism, but the strategies there suggest something more of a pure phobia about speaking.  With my daughter, I think it's different - it's anxiety about social communication (not surprisingly)...  I'm worried it could get worse, but don't know how to stem the tide of any regression (mercifully, she just recently started talking to her childminder again who she goes to once a week, but I've been worried there's been a general regressive trend lately, aside from this).

Any ideas would be very welcome.  Autism-related literature on the subject is thin on the ground - or I'm looking in the wrong places....

Parents

  • I would like to give you all some hope, a ray of sunshine.  My now 29 year old daughter who was diagnsoed with Aspergers at 21 years old, would not speak to anyone outside of the house or family when a child.  After prolonged bullying at school we home educated her.  The difference when we took her out of school was amazing.  She looked like we had lifted the whole world off her shoulders.  What helped most though was having a very chatty, confident mum.  I tried not to let her hide from situations, but confidently held her hand and included her in converstations.  It takes time, but at 23 she tried a mainstream college.  After 6 months though she found the classroom situation too much. Her social worker noticed how much her confidence had grown.  I always encourage her to try things. We had a terrible week when it was her turn to light the fire at girl guides!  She has since backpacked around New Zealand with a friend (She couldn't cope alone) and in September we are off to Perth, Australia for the APAC conference to hear Tony Attwood speak.   Please have faith, things will get better and I am happy to answer any questions should anyone wish to speak to me.  We're all here to support each other!  

Reply

  • I would like to give you all some hope, a ray of sunshine.  My now 29 year old daughter who was diagnsoed with Aspergers at 21 years old, would not speak to anyone outside of the house or family when a child.  After prolonged bullying at school we home educated her.  The difference when we took her out of school was amazing.  She looked like we had lifted the whole world off her shoulders.  What helped most though was having a very chatty, confident mum.  I tried not to let her hide from situations, but confidently held her hand and included her in converstations.  It takes time, but at 23 she tried a mainstream college.  After 6 months though she found the classroom situation too much. Her social worker noticed how much her confidence had grown.  I always encourage her to try things. We had a terrible week when it was her turn to light the fire at girl guides!  She has since backpacked around New Zealand with a friend (She couldn't cope alone) and in September we are off to Perth, Australia for the APAC conference to hear Tony Attwood speak.   Please have faith, things will get better and I am happy to answer any questions should anyone wish to speak to me.  We're all here to support each other!  

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