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Selective Mutism - any advice?

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Hello everyone,

My eight year old daughter is soon to be assessed for ASD and I expect there will be a diagnosis of ASD/Aspergers.

One of the most significant problems she faces is selective mutism.  She is terrified of talking to people she doesn't know well (i.e. everyone except parents, brother and one friend she made at her old school).  Even Grandma/Grandad have trouble getting her to speak, although she speaks freely with her immediate family.  Everything I've read suggests it's an anxiety response and she is extremely self-conscious in general.  With us though, she's a different girl - happy, funny and giggly a lot of the time.  She'll occasionally be like this with others, but it's fleeting and never seems to last.

Anyone got any ideas for how to help?  I've read a lot about selective mutism unrelated to autism, but the strategies there suggest something more of a pure phobia about speaking.  With my daughter, I think it's different - it's anxiety about social communication (not surprisingly)...  I'm worried it could get worse, but don't know how to stem the tide of any regression (mercifully, she just recently started talking to her childminder again who she goes to once a week, but I've been worried there's been a general regressive trend lately, aside from this).

Any ideas would be very welcome.  Autism-related literature on the subject is thin on the ground - or I'm looking in the wrong places....

Parents

  • Dear Rachaub and Chocolate Buttons,

    Thanks so much for taking the time to reply.  So sorry to hear of the difficulties you've faced Buttons - it's precisely for those reasons that I want to help my daughter - I do hope you're doing what you can to access any support now available, even though it's clear you could have done with much more decades ago.  I'm prodding the school to get on with applying for a statement although I think the best help will be seeking advice from the speech therapist - they've already had an informal view from her that they shouldn't be forcing the issue - that just makes it worse.  Seems to be the prevalent advice?  I still don't know if she has an ASD - her paediatrician was doubtful, but is referring her (to the Wolfson Centre?) for further consideration/assessment.  My best guess is that she either does meet the criteria for ASD or she's at the ASD end of the 'normal' spectrum - I'm working on the basis there's a grey area between what would be considered neuro-typical and what wouldn't - suspect my daughter is in that grey area somewhere, if she doesn't quite meet the full ASD criteria.  We'll wait and see.  But she's happy at the moment and (thank goodness) - I just want her to stay that way...

    Buttons/Rachaub - if you have any other advice about how to handle the mutism, I'll be only too glad to receive it.  There was a slightly dispiriting message from the Paediatrican that, whatever the outcome, interventions of any description didn't help much - that seems to contradict a lot of what I've read.  Even if all you get is a level of understanding from others and self-awareness, I'd have thought it would make the assessment/diagnosis process worthwhile, even if there's no magic cure...?

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  • Dear Rachaub and Chocolate Buttons,

    Thanks so much for taking the time to reply.  So sorry to hear of the difficulties you've faced Buttons - it's precisely for those reasons that I want to help my daughter - I do hope you're doing what you can to access any support now available, even though it's clear you could have done with much more decades ago.  I'm prodding the school to get on with applying for a statement although I think the best help will be seeking advice from the speech therapist - they've already had an informal view from her that they shouldn't be forcing the issue - that just makes it worse.  Seems to be the prevalent advice?  I still don't know if she has an ASD - her paediatrician was doubtful, but is referring her (to the Wolfson Centre?) for further consideration/assessment.  My best guess is that she either does meet the criteria for ASD or she's at the ASD end of the 'normal' spectrum - I'm working on the basis there's a grey area between what would be considered neuro-typical and what wouldn't - suspect my daughter is in that grey area somewhere, if she doesn't quite meet the full ASD criteria.  We'll wait and see.  But she's happy at the moment and (thank goodness) - I just want her to stay that way...

    Buttons/Rachaub - if you have any other advice about how to handle the mutism, I'll be only too glad to receive it.  There was a slightly dispiriting message from the Paediatrican that, whatever the outcome, interventions of any description didn't help much - that seems to contradict a lot of what I've read.  Even if all you get is a level of understanding from others and self-awareness, I'd have thought it would make the assessment/diagnosis process worthwhile, even if there's no magic cure...?

Children
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