Hi everyone,
I am here because of my 12 yr old daughter. I recently had an 'A-Ha!' moment when I read up about how Aspergers can present itself differently in girls than in boys. I am fairly certain that my daughter's traits are consistent with Aspergers.
I work in a mainstream primary school with special needs children (some of them with ASD diagnoses and traits) whose difficulties are pronounced enough that they require the extra support. My daughter certainly does not have the same category of need, as she has managed to remain completely under the radar in the academic school setting. However, at home there have been plenty of days that I've thought, 'Gee, that seems like something one of my ASD kids would do...' but felt too close to the situation to be judging it objectively. Until now I have never really considered going for an evaluation for ASD.
My husband seems to think that the evaluation process would be nit-picking and cause more grief than it's worth for our quirky, introverted daughter, all to get a 'label'. After all, aren't her meltdowns what teenage girls do from time to time? I understand his point, given that there are children with more obvious need, and also that thus far we have managed her needs without any support, whatever the 'label' may be. Occasionally I adapt some of the school-based strategies for home, and we are a patient, laid-back household so I think we've naturally diffused many sources of anxiety in her early years. Her difficulties are, comparatively, 'invisible'.
However, I am worried that now at Secondary school level, a gap is widening between what is expected of her and what she is able to manage due to her awkward social skills, poor time-management skills, and resulting anxiety/stress levels. She is quiet, never a behaviour problem (at school), but equally does not seek help at school. She has always gotten high marks, particularly in English, languages, music, and art... but at every single parent-teacher conference I have attended over the years, the comments have had the same theme: that despite my DD's good vocab and ideas, she doesn't complete enough work in a given time, doesn't answer questions fully, and that socially she seems content as a virtual loner on the playground and at lunchtimes.
She has two friends she considers close, both of them are boys. She has girl friends, but she rarely cares to invite them (or be invited) to do things together (and we are long past the age of parents arranging playdates!). Therefore, most weekends and school holidays are spent in her room, or on the computer, immersed in her world of drawing comics and creating computer animations and fantasy costumes, and unless we create enough of a reason to go out of the house, she would be a hermit there.
Ever since she was a pre-schooler, we/teachers/friends/family have shrugged and explained away these discrepancies as being 'self-contained', 'an only child', 'imaginative beyond her years, frustrated by her peers', etc
I should say, by way of history, that when she was 7, she developed a pronounced stammer and some group therapy gave her strategies to use which helped her manage it. However it made Year 3 a socially difficult year for a girl who was already socially awkward. The stammer is virtually gone now, though it does re-appear when she is anxious, or when she is excited to express something. She also goes through phases of head and neck tics - jaw movements, coughs/throat clearing, neck stretches. Then one day we notice she's not doing them at all, and weeks go by before she starts again.
We have good, quite 'normal' days when I think I'm making a big deal of nothing. Then, something happens that makes me worry for her future... what would you say are the biggest benefits to getting an evaluation / diagnosis? Is it worth taking the plunge?
Thanks,
Gimmeabreak
