Help coping with PTSD

I'm not officially diagnosed but it was my PTSD counsellor who referred me. Have you been through counselling for your PTSD?

I have a therapist who knows that I have PTSD. However, she is neither a specialist in PTSD or autism so can only help so much. (There are no specialist services for either 'condition' where I am.)

That's really the hard bit. I was fortunate I could access specialists in my area but I still had a substantial wait before they had a slot available. 

In terms of my PTSD, it was related to a motorbike accident.

The way my counsellor explained it, and the way I understand it; is that I can tell myself that I'm safe, it won't happen again, roads aren't terrible places, etc. But there is a part of my brain that hasn't caught up. For example, I had a major trigger on a train journey late last year. My train had just pulled out of the station, my destination was next. The train suddenly came to a stop. While we waited, we found out that someone had been hit by a freight train at my destination! As we waited, it brought back a lot of feelings from my accident which was entirely unrelated, by the time I got to work I was shaking uncontrollably, crying and struggling to keep myself together. A part of my brain was convinced I was in danger, even though I knew I wasn't. A colleague of mine sat with me and we simply talked about what was happening, as it happened. That helped me to settle and 'convince the crazy part of my brain' that I was ok. It also helped to find the person who was hit had survived with minor injury. Even though I was exhausted for the rest of the day, I was able to take the train home without further anxiety.

My Counsellor took me through Cognitive Behavioural therapy (CBT). I'm sure there are books on the subject, I also find that Buddhism has a lot of similar attributes whilst also providing additional support like meditative practices and practical perspectives to draw from.

We also did something called reliving. She asked me to tape it so I could refer to it outside of our sessions. We did it a number of times, over and over again. It brought back different memories and helped me to bring order to what was happening in my head. I didn't find the reliving itself helpful in the way it was intended. We suspected that might be where the Autism was creeping in. I did find the process helpful in that it helped me to see how different things fit in and that in turn helped me to make sense of the situation.  There were also grounding techniques, such as having little objects that gave me comfort, training myself to associate being on the road with something if not pleasant, than at least normal. 

Part of the PTSD treatment is designed to reintroduce what happened in small doses so that the brain has a chance to deal with what has happened. You also need to try not to avoid it, like pushing your boundaries just a little each time rather than avoiding it completely.

The defining moment for me, was actually the hardest. We had a heavy session and I left feeling really upset. I had to get across a super busy bridge surrounded by traffic, over the motorway so I always put my music on. I'm a Ludovico Eunaudi fan, and a piece of music called 'Experience' came on. It brought up so much emotion that I'd struggled to tap into and for the first time since the accident, I just stood there and cried with relief, I honestly felt like I was going to get through it. 

I don't know how much of that is helpful to you, PTSD is different for everyone. I too have Anxiety and Depression disorder so I can appreciate how difficult it can be. The first instinct of most people is to tell you it will all be ok. The hardest bit, is for you to convince yourself. I promise you though, it's not impossible.

Yes, I find that, that you do sometimes quite a lot of work and it all ends in a bloody good cry. I've one big cry i could do with releasing but seem to be some way off from still. It's hard to tap into i think because of the autism but i,ve learnt not to push the crying away but to bring it on, albeit it happens at most every six months.

Yes, I find that, that you do sometimes quite a lot of work and it all ends in a bloody good cry. I've one big cry i could do with releasing but seem to be some way off from still. It's hard to tap into i think because of the autism but i,ve learnt not to push the crying away but to bring it on, albeit it happens at most every six months.