Hi everyone, I've just joined for advice, my name is Rebecca Jane or 'RJ' and within the last year, I've learned that I am autistic. I have a provisional diagnosis right now that's due to be confirmed in April, but I first suspected ASD when I had a class on it during my first year of university.
Trigger warning / mention of suicidal thoughts.
Now, I've always struggled, I left school early, had suicidal thoughts, didn't want to talk to a doctor about it, picked myself up and tried college and was successful, never in friendships but I did reach a few qualifications, enough to get me to university, but I skipped many classes and got through it alone by commuting and not living in student halls and not attending on days when I couldn't handle it. Flash forward and I tried working, I never coped in working environments, the lights, the chatter, the overwhelming feelings I felt, I thought were normal, I just thought that everyone experienced burnout, I've left multiple jobs because I can't fit the neurotypical workplace and before my referral for autism, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I've been bullied out of work and had my self esteem reach zero, now it's probably in the minus figures.
I've been on universal credit since a failed attempt at a master's in psychology, after switching from journalism in September, and after a few months of struggling and trying to apply, I finally opened up to my work coach and started to pursue my autism diagnosis, I have one final appointment left for my official diagnosis which I feel has helped me understand myself so much more, and my limitations, and I know, that my mental state right now is not good enough to work.
My work coach also encouraged me to apply for limited capability for work and Personal Independence Payment (PIP) for the help that I need on a daily basis, e.g. not prioritising food, not going outside alone, my routine, etc.
The forms are here and of course I've read widely about people being refused and going to tribunals over the phone because of covid-19 and still being turned down, and my brain is just completely overwhelmed with worry that, I'm not good enough for work, and I'm not even good enough to get help for being unfit for work right now that would ultimately set me up to have some independence to try to fit into society again.
I've got an incredible mum who, since the pandemic is performing the roles of a carer, and is filling in the forms for me, but here I am, 30 next year and in bits because I don't feel like I'll be told yes, and after being turned down or failing so often, to be told I don't even qualify for help would probably see me feeling suicidal, but I know how tough the DWP can be.
Does anyone have any success stories for a late autism diagnosis and mental health difficulties when applying for PIP? I also struggle to talk on the phone but the DWP probably will force me to.
I'm so sorry if this is all a bundle of jumbled thoughts.
