My 13 year old is part way through the diagnosis process and its clearear that its going to be Aspergers as so many things fit.
He has had a terrible time struggling to cope at secondary school and is on medication and therapy for depression and anxiety. He attends a small school for children not well enough for mainstream.
he is worried about the future and does not believe he will be able to get a job.
I would really appreciate some advice as to what to say to him to help him accept who and what he is and to help him believe that he can be successful as an adult.
thanks!
My 15 year old son didn't get diagnosed until he was 13,but to him i think it was a blessing in disguise as he knew he was a little "different" (if thats the right phrase) to others but at least he knows now the reasons behind this.
As others have said,just keep praising him and point out all the good points to his diagnosis,because if others have a problem with his diagnosis then it is their problem and not his..
As I see it Aspergers is the best news he could get.
He is depressed because other people dont understand him, he understands their behaviour better than they do and when he thinks they are silly and annoying he is probably right.
Also other people are uncomfortable around him because he sees the world in a different way, so they pick on him and this produces depression and anxiety.
Its not his fault, he is fine, the problems are social because he is different.
Tell him as he grows up he will find ways to live that avoid the stress and bullying,
Modern society insists on throwing all children together in a loud noisy mess to save money but when he gets through that he should be fine.
hi - as puffin says, it's important to build up his confidence. I was wondering what provision he has to help him at school? It may be school that's making him "unwell" + perhaps sapping his confidence. Apologies in advance, absolutely, if I'm wrong here. He needs to develop a more positive attitude to his aspergers. There are a number of posters on here who may be able to help him/you with that if they see your post.
Thank you, yes we need to keep it positive, self esteem is something he has always had difficulty with right from starting school.
He does have a real affinity with animals, I suggested the other day that he might be good at working with animals in some way in the future which actually went down quite well!
I wish we had known earlier and that I could have told him before "teenagerdom" struck because thats a hard enough time for kids anyway withought anything extra being thrown in the mix!
I can only imagine how hard that must be for a thirteen year old to accept, all i can say is what i plan on doing for my six year old when i eventually tell him. Keep pushing all the things that he is good at that make him unique, try enrolling him in a club for a cnfidence boost again something he may enjoy and excel at. It will take time but keep on pushing all the things he is good at ignore the rest we all have things we cannot do even those of us not on the spectrum, he needs his confidence boosted in a big way to help him see all is not lost.
I like Tony Attwoods idea, when he tells someone they have Aspergers he says "congratulations you have Aspergers"! , great memory, fantastic attention to detail, clever and that perfectionism trait can be a real bonus to an employer? he can and i am sure will suceed, he just needs help believing it and some careful career planning there are alot of good jobs out there for Aspies.
