Published on 12, July, 2020
HI all,
I've come across the concept of Intolerance of Uncertainty - something my psychologist mentioned and after a recent blip I've started investigating it. Most of the material I've come across is academic papers (taking a wee bit of time to absorb) but I was wondering if anyone else had come across the idea and what they made of it?
On a semi-related topic the Coursera platform is running a course by the Yale Centre of Emotional Intelligence: Managing Emotions in Times of Uncertainty and Stress. It's free (although you can pay £36 for a certificate if you want one). Link > https://www.coursera.org/learn/managing-emotions-uncertainty-stress
It's intended for school staff (and neurotypicals) but looking at the syllabus I'm fairly sure there's ideas that might give me another perspective and increase emotional awareness. I'm going to explore it - but I thought I'd share in case anyone else is interested.
The course leader Marc Brackett has a website @ https://www.marcbrackett.com/ (apologies for the big book ad slap bang in the middle of the homepage - I'm not on commission, It's the video I'm pointing to)
I analyse everything and try to predict every outcome, from situations to conversations. A therapist told me that because it's not possible to predict EVERYTHING, that I trigger my own anxiety. I'm just trying to be prepared.
In most cases I can get into that headspace to work through situations where I don't know how things are going to pan out (thanks acceptance/commitment stuff!). What I'm rubbish at is when things are landed in such a way I've not had chance to figure them out....on almost every occasion the communication has been lacking or the change has been poorly managed. Which is tolerable if it happens - on occasion. When it starts becoming the norm I begin to unravel.
If the ask and my role is clear, I can work with shifting priorities, juggle tasks and apply myself. If the parameters keep shifting (either my role, or the thing I'm being asked to produce) because people don't know what they want then it gets exhausting. As I keep telling people "figure out what you want before you ask me to do it". It seems most of my management chain know they want something in some vague nebulous sense - they just don't know what it is exactly that they do want when asked about it. This is one of those "unspoken skills" I need to pick up - how to get clarity from the person who is asking me for something but is thoroughly confused about the ask.
I'm much more forgiving of my peers - but when it comes to "leaders" I get incredibly frustrated. My expectation is that their job is to ensure I have everything I need to do my job. What I see in practice is folk talking around an issue rather than take concrete steps to solve it. Listening to those conversations is exhausting. As for following their lead.... none them have a clue where they're going.
Pikl said:A therapist told me that because it's not possible to predict EVERYTHING, that I trigger my own anxiety.
That's absolute bullcrap - it's our overblown hard-wired fight-or-flight anxiety that causes us to work out multiple 'escape strategies'. More NT cart-before-the-horse thinking.