hi,
does anyone on the spectrum struggle to maintain relationships both romantic and friendship??
i need advice on how to keep people to be my friends
I know that I can't force them to be my friends but it is almost impossible
hi,
does anyone on the spectrum struggle to maintain relationships both romantic and friendship??
i need advice on how to keep people to be my friends
I know that I can't force them to be my friends but it is almost impossible
I would actively seek out the most nerdy people you can - they often turn out to be undiagnosed aspies - but they are very much easier to deal with - no agendas or politics - just people who enjoy sharing their passions. The earlier you start, the better - while everyone is still inexperienced in their social skills and just learning how to interact. If you leave it too late, there's a much larger social skills gap so you can end up looking immature / gauche / clumsy - it's the worst way of finding out your limits. Friends that you make earlier are much more likely to accept you and stay friends because you all learn together how to navigate the social scene.
Same with the opposite sex - the earlier you start, the less embarrassing it is - you're on the same romantic skill level as everyone else. I recommend group activities - bowling, pubs etc. because if you get tongue-tied or run out of things to say, no-one will notice because of the group dynamic - and if you click with someone, organise something a bit more romantic - but simple - like a lunchtime coffee- keep it short and simple - and cheap if it turns out to be a bust. 
I'm an aspie in my 50s and my closest friends are from my school days - and I think some of them are very aspie - but undiagnosed. I met my wife at school - we're married now for over 30 years.
Good luck!
You'll find nice people if you join nerdy groups like local history, plastic modelling, railway groups, wildlife conservation, classic cars, museum volunteers, book clubs etc. - basically anywhere where people require a lot of specialist knowledge to want to go along and meet up with other knowledgable people. Like I say, stick to group activities until you gain confidence in yourself - you can hide in plain sight and learn 'the rules'.
Also, in group activities, they will more than likely accommodate you needing quieter venues - and if you're open with them and explain your difficulties, just mention that if you get overloaded, you might need to step out side for a little while while you get yourself together - but don't just give up and go home - it takes action from both sides.
