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I feel guilty

queer_autistic_enby26298

I am autistic and have severe learning difficulties and my best friend who is also on the spectrum is being very unsupportive of something upsetting that happened to me.

I got a rude picture from a random stranger without consent and told him straight away because he has supported me with bullying in the past as he is my best friend. He told me to get over it, they're targeting me because i'm transgender (female to male) and think i'm still a woman and i'm overeacting when really i'm so upset by what has just been sent to me. I was angry and told him I needed space but he carried on lecturing me and telling me to get over it. 

I have just been diagnosed with C-PTSD because of the homophobia, transphobia and ableism I experienced even though I went to special school and college which where most of the traumas took place (one of them was getting ABA). My best friend has been giving me 'talks' on women's bodies which once again, is part of the said traumas I have experienced regarding sexual health classes that were not LGBT inclusive. I have nightmares about them and frighten myself into thinking I'm pregnant when I actually identify as male and it's not what I want anyway. 

I am so cross about that stranger who sent me a very rude picture and said he will F me. I wanted to tell the police but my best friend said there is nothing they can do which made me more upset

I have cried about 4 times and self harmed today because of this, especially if my best friend is behaving like this. 

I don't want to end our friendship, I miss his sweet personality and I want him right now. 

  • Hello ,

    I'm sorry to hear about how you have felt recently. It’s good that you’ve let us know what’s happening/how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay. 

     

    If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support.

     

    If it’s outside your GP hours call  111  to reach the NHS 111 service:   http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/Emergencyandurgentcareservices/Pages/NHS-111.aspx 

    The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.

    MIND have information pages on coping with self harm  based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful. 

     

    If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support.


    If you need help with an autism related issue, our helpline can be emailed via webform https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx or they’re open Monday to Thursday 10am-4pm and Friday 9am-3pm on 0808 800 4104.

    Best wishes,

    ChloeMod.

  • I think your friend is likely trying to help in his own way. It might feel like he's pushing you away but from what you've written here, I think he's trying to support you. It just maybe is not in the way you are expecting? It's just a hunch I have.

    I believe that there has been motion towards getting this kind of action from the stranger recognised as harassment. I'm not sure if it's been solidified in law as yet.

    Somebody saying 'they will F you', or words to that effect, could well be seen as a threat and that could constitute harassment or something similar perhaps? [I'm no expert in law though, so take nothing I say as 'known truth'.]

    My personal feeling is that it could be worth reporting. A lot of this kind of thing is going unreported and I feel that, if you feel brave enough to, reporting it could have benefits to others who haven't felt brave enough to come forward.

    I don't wish to push you into this, however.

    It is your choice (whichever choice you make) and I'm sure you'll do what feels right for you.

    One of my partners reported a 'nice derriere' comment in the street (the predatory comment upset her greatly) onto police and they came round to take a statement and were able to offer some reassurance.