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Life going in episodes of ability and inability

NAS64975
over 3 years ago

Hi everyone,

My life goes in peaks and slumps. For a few weeks I would show great ability and talents, make plans, start projects, take commitments, give hopes...

And then suddenly nothing would make sense anymore. Life becomes bland and pointless. I get disconnected from everything and everyone. I keep doing what I started for a few days but soon I lose traction, everything feels wrong and I can't make decisions. I can hardly look after myself... And this can go for several weeks - long enough to fail my commitments and disappoint everyone.

When I was 24 (will be 40 this year), I got diagnosed with "recurrent depressive disorder" and had antidepressants prescribed but this didn't fix my life. I wasn't depressed, I was tired of being anxious and afraid.

I am afraid to apply for jobs because I don't know in what state would I be when I get to an interview. If I get a job it would be a matter of time when I fail and will be kicked out. I don't even want to meet people anymore.

Does anyone know if this has something to do with autism or is it a separate mental health issue?

I believe I am on the spectrum and even passed through the preliminary assessment for a formal diagnosis.

I'm scared. Don't know what to do about it and have no one to talk to.

Thanks

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    Okay. The topic doesn't seem to be very popular. Would you like to share any ideas or observations you might have?

    With me it seems to be triggered by a mix of physical tiredness, social/emotional stress, unpleasant event (I'll remember the rest later).

    A peculiar observation is that when I sleep less than 7 hours, I feel focussed and determined. If I sleep for 8 hours or more, I am likely to get into the condition described above. Unfortunately consistent sleep deprivation makes my gums hurt and bleed, and any injuries don't heal - I'm physically falling apart.

    As I wrote my first post, It got nearly midnight. Made it to bed at 00:20 and was up at 6:10 next morning. I felt sleepy but I was back on track. Took a while to remember what I was supposed to do but now I am up and running.

    It is possible writing my post here to have kick started me. 

    Any thoughts?

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    Okay. The topic doesn't seem to be very popular. Would you like to share any ideas or observations you might have?

    With me it seems to be triggered by a mix of physical tiredness, social/emotional stress, unpleasant event (I'll remember the rest later).

    A peculiar observation is that when I sleep less than 7 hours, I feel focussed and determined. If I sleep for 8 hours or more, I am likely to get into the condition described above. Unfortunately consistent sleep deprivation makes my gums hurt and bleed, and any injuries don't heal - I'm physically falling apart.

    As I wrote my first post, It got nearly midnight. Made it to bed at 00:20 and was up at 6:10 next morning. I felt sleepy but I was back on track. Took a while to remember what I was supposed to do but now I am up and running.

    It is possible writing my post here to have kick started me. 

    Any thoughts?

Children
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