I'm mid thirties female, "self diagnosed". I spoke with a therapist this week. I rang up initially to get some appointments but then started talking about things which had been troubling me. One of these was I don't know how much this particular thing is repetitive thoughts or actual feeling. He said a way to tell is that thoughts are just thoughts. Do I get any feeling when I think this thought? I felt confused and said I couldn't give him an answer there and then. (I think in the past I wouldve given an answer but now I'm self diagnosed I'm more aware of these problems in identifying tjoughts/feelings/emotions on the spot). I still don't know the answer to this question. And it's all mixed up in my head whether the prolem is the actual thing itself or overthinking about it, or over thinking the thinking.
Another thing is that because I hadn't planned in my head what I wanted to talk about, it came out all jumbled up. I decided it'd be best to wait for my scheduled appointments before going into more detail. I think i felt a bit frustrated i couldn't get my point across. So, I had opened up the problem but hadn't resolved it. It's going through my head more than ever now. So the past couple of days I've felt down. This is a pattern which I have noticed has happened before. That I feel down when I cannot identify correctly or express how I feel. It's like I know I feel negative but that's all. I have realised I am so wrapped up in my head most of the time. It doesnt even occur to me to talk about things, or I don't know how to go about talking about it to get what I want out of the conversation.
Sorry if this is a bit waffley. I have also realised afterwards, that sometimes I don't know how I should feel and so (consciously or unconsciously? ) use other people's feelings to inform my own. Or that their feelings far too easily influence my own even when I know how I feel. I feel I have very high empathy or sensitivity towards others so this might be why. On the other hand, I struggle with my own emotions. I have tried the alexythymia tests online but struggled to answer the questions.
I might have said some of this before and I apologise if I have repeated myself. I don't quite know what I want out of this thread but if anyone can share any insights that'd be great.