My sons lack of fear is such a struggle

Hi everyone, I'm new here, I'm completely at my wits end,  and today thought I would join a forum to see if it will help me find some support. 

My son is 5, I've known from around 18 months old there was something different about him, just before the lockdown we had been seen by a paediatrician who agreed with me and she had referred him to get an assessment. Of course that's all on hold now. 

Everyday life is a struggle, getting him to do simple tasks is a battle unless it's on his terms. We get through that but one big challenge is his lack of fear of anything! He has ran out in front of cars before, he jumps from great heights, he is extremely friendly with strangers. 2 days ago he was bitten by a dog, we were out walking and before I could stop him he had ran over to the dog and jumped on top of it and was pulling at his head and the dog bit him. Luckily it was just a nip, enough to break the skin though. My son didnt even cry, he never feels pain which I think could be one reason he has no fear. I took him home and sat him down to talk about how dangerous that was and how much worse it could have been, I could tell this wasn't registering, it's like he doesn't believe anything I say. Yesterday we were out again and we saw another dog, my son was about to run over to this dog also! I stopped him and reminded him of the dog who bit him, it was like he had forgot. I would have thought that would have been fresh in his mind and he would be scared of other dogs now. 

Trying to keep a child safe with no fear, who doesn't understand consequences and won't listen to a word I say is getting tough. 

Does anyone else one go through this, does anyone have any advice?

Many thanks

Ps. My son had his pre school jabs so up to date with tetanus, I rang the doctor who has prescribed him an antibiotic to prevent infection. 

  • Are they looking at ADHD? Just a thought. All the best

  • Hi Ross-mod,

    Thank you for your reply sorry for not replying sooner, I hadn't actually realised anyone had commented. 

    That's great, thanks so much, I'll have a look at those links, hopefully there will be something in there to help me.

    It would be good to talk to someone, the paediatrician we last saw had referred me to a parent group but I kept getting fobed off by them, the group wasn't full enough so was cancelled and then they'd get back to me but didn't, I was always chasing them and know one getting back to me and that was before lock down. Over the years people who see my son agree we need support, like the health visitor, nursery teacher etc I get false hope we're going to get help but it's always a dead end.

    Thanks 

  • Hi, thank you for your reply. Good to know I'm not alone, just a constant battle. 

  • Hi Giraffe,

    Sorry to hear you're having difficulty with your son's lack of fear getting him into dangerous situations. We have a section on the site for both behavioural issues and communication, which you can find here: https://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour.aspx https://www.autism.org.uk/about/communication.aspx and may be of some help in understanding what motivates your son's actions and getting some ideas for how you might be able to get through to him. The sections on sensory differences and challenging behaviour might be particularly relevant. We also have our NAS helpline available if you would like to speak to someone directly, which you can find here - https://www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/about-us/contact-us.aspx 

    Best wishes,
    Ross - mod

  • Sorry I dont know the answeer to this but I know someone with a kid that meets this exact description. He has no fear and is always getting injured or doing dangerous things without realising it. He also doesn't seem to feel pain and just soldiers on after injuries then does the same thing again another day