I have joined this forum for help and advice and I don't really know where to start and I'm afraid I will get laughed out of the room but here goes.
We didn't think there was anything wrong with R for a long time. She could roll both ways by 3 months and started commando crawling at 5 months, pulled herself up at 7 months and was walking at around 12-14 months. The only thing that was weird is that she didn't laugh at all until 8 months even though she was a happy baby. She picked up a few words (baby, ball, duck) and everything seemed on track.
But by the age of two (earlier this year) things didn't seem quite right. We realised a few things that weren't 'normal'. From 2 to 2.5 she wouldnt/couldnt - wave, point, follow a pointed hand, ask for simple things (despite a decent vocabulary), respond to her name.
An interesting thing was she has been able to count to 10 clearly and well since 18 months.
We spoke our concerns to our HV who was also slightly concerned and has passed us onto a speech lady, CDC and portage and she is currently being visited and monitered but it's a very slow process and they don't tell me much of what they find so I'm quite in the dark about what they think. But I think it could be aspergers after reading a lot about it.
We have since enrolled her in pre-school once a week and they have said that she does have speech and understanding delay and doesn't engage with other children or make conversation with people. But is happy in her own way, doing her own thing.
We have also been making lots of effort with flash cards and books and offering choice (although she still doesnt understand choice and will just stare at you until you give her one of the things on offer) and physically showing her commands (like showing her the command of 'take your shoes off'). She can now do commands she knows very well but cannot use her own initiative to do unknown commands.
Right now, R is 32 months old and these are significant things about her -
She is almost *too* obedient (which I know sounds ridiculous).
She can and will play alone for hours. To the point where we hear her playing in her bedroom alone and talking to herself for a long time before she will start to shout for attention. BUT if I am there, she will sometimes engage with me and her dad (I don't know about engaging with others)
She is in her own head a lot.
She is indifferent to almost everything. She has never asked for something in a shop, if I turn her programs off she just accepts it, if I took a toy off her she would just get over it. This is incredibly convenient but I don't know if this is a warning sign?
She isn't possessive over anything. EXCEPT the 3 stuffed dogs that she sleeps with every night.
She only speaks in phrases that she has heard often ('what happened' 'uh oh' etc). And very basic two word sentences (such as 'baby sleepy' when we are playing with her dolls).
Despite this, she has a vast vocabulary and excellent pronounciation. She knows so many animals it's ridiculous (she can tell the difference between duck and chickens, and knows dinosaurs and spiders and butterflies etc). Same with automobiles.
And despite speaking in two word sentences only, she knows entire nursery rhymes and hums a lot.
She doesn't like social situations and doesn't like other children. Will play around them if there are a few of them and it's quiet, but if too many she will cling to me and get distressed (for example at a party).
Can only understand and talk about something that is happening in the present. Ie won't talk about school or what we had for breakfast. If I said 'what did we have for breakfast?' she will look confused, take in the word 'breakfast' and be rather distressed and confused as it isn't breakfast time.
I'm sure there's more quirks but I can't remember them at this moment in time. Anyway, I'm just wondering if she sounds like anybody elses child? Or if anybody knows if there's something 'wrong' or if she's 'normal'? She has delays but she's very gifted in a lot of ways and she just isn't like any other child I know or see and I just hope she is ok growing up and doesn't get left to one side because she's quiet and well behaved, if there's an underlying problem.
PS: Her dad has aspergers, it was only recently diagnosed I guess because it wasn't well known back in the day. And she is a lot like him. Except he was a 'difficult' child apparently.
Thankyou. 
