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Coronavirus college trauma

Eleanor

Hi, my 18 year old daughter has ASC, emetophobia and general anxiety and is in recovery from anorexia (shopping at the supermarkets with a limited diet is another story!) and she is struggling with anxiety due to the coronavirus outbreak.  There is so much on TV and social media and we are trying to restrict how much time we spend talking/watching info about it to help our daughter.  However, her fear of the virus is affecting her college work as she is finding it difficult to focus and stay on task.  Obviously all lectures and interaction is now on line and via various media methods.  However, the course lecturers keep setting pieces of work with the central theme being coronavirus (she is studying Wildlife Conservation).  This is massively increasing her anxiety as she is so worried about the virus.  Although the symptoms aren't reported to be stomach related it doesn't lessen her fear.

I have emailed her college tutor pointing out she is very stressed and  is finding it difficult to engage.  They are aware of her ASC and they have made accommodations for her in the past, i.e. extra time to complete assignments and exams,  but the email response I got from the tutor was that all the students were finding it stressful and were worried about their final results, i.e. they're all in the same boat.  But this is not the case, my daughter isn't worrying about her final results she is worrying about being ill.   The course leader understands my daughter very well but she has only just returned from maternity leave and it is her understudy who is doing the day to day running.  The email responses I get from him make me feel like I am being a nuisance and pushy mother for raising issues with my daughter.  I guess other parents of 18 year old don't interfere but she has been so through much over the last 4 years and fought really hard to get on this course.  She was in a CAMHS hospital for 31 months and barely got any GCSE's and having achieved distinctions in every  single module of her current course over the last 2 years she is finally on the way to achieving something positive.  However, all this is now in jeopardy because she is struggling with the coronavirus and the college are treating her just the same as the other students.   

My question is - am I being unreasonable raising the issue again with her college that setting tasks with a theme of coronavirus is making her anxiety worse and making it difficult to engage?  How much do I interfere with my daughter's education at age 18?   I don't want her to feel she has attained her qualification just because of me nagging the college but I don't think they have any concept of the enormity of the effect of coronavirus information overload on my daughter.

Parents

  • Hi Eleanor. I understand your worries. I am a 26 yo F with ASC who has been through my first degree at university, and now does some teaching of undergraduates as part of my PhD. I feel like this is a perfectly reasonable adjustment to request, and not only that, but I feel like centring academic work around coronavirus will be a problem in terms of anxiety for other students too. However, I was wondering if it might be possible for your daughter to try to broach the issue with her tutor instead of you? I think that this would be a really good learning point for her, as she will need to rely less on you in future. It will help her to take ownership of her education. If she needs some help with this, perhaps she could go speak to a 3rd party within the university? I had a mentor who would help mediate and facilitate conversations like these, if I was struggling with the communication aspect, as a lot of autistic people do. I hope your daughters anxiety improves! Good luck, I know this is a really difficult time. 

  • in reply to Amber

    Hi Amber, thanks for your reply.   I am very proud of my daughter because today,  without me prompting her, she emailed her tutors to say how stressful she was finding the situation at the moment.  As a result I also had a lovely email from the course leader saying Lydia had been in contact with her.  I got the feeling from the email that they had been waiting for Lydia to tell them herself, rather than me,  that she was stressed and struggling.   Possibly that is because she is 18.  The outcome is quite successful and they are trying to accommodate her now.  x

  • in reply to Eleanor

    I myself am struggling because everythings changed. As is my child. I tried telling school that we simply cant deal with school work right now as its causing too much stress. I said we would catch up. But they didnt understand and bombard us with calls and emails. I'm ignoring them now.

    We do what we can and then come away as our mental health is important too

Reply
  • in reply to Eleanor

    I myself am struggling because everythings changed. As is my child. I tried telling school that we simply cant deal with school work right now as its causing too much stress. I said we would catch up. But they didnt understand and bombard us with calls and emails. I'm ignoring them now.

    We do what we can and then come away as our mental health is important too

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