Autism or narcissism mother

Hello, does anyone struggle to understand their mother's behaviour and wonder if she is autistic, or narcissistic? I have ptsd from my mother's screaming and yelling fits in childhood. The thing is, recently I went to a therapist who suggested she is narcissistic, covert type. However I have aspergers and I really wonder how a mother with Aspergers might appear if she had ptsd herself and no autisn diagnosis due to masking her whole life and being born in the 1940s. How could you tell the difference between the notoriously difficult to spot covert narcissist mother, and a mother with Aspergers and ptsd and possible depression? Mood swings, difficulties with empathy, meltdowns, yelling, blame shifting, really hurtful lnsensitive comments, raging if criticised or perceived to be being criticised, different masks or persons, etc etc how would one ever know? I'm looking for anyone with experience in their own lives with this please, I'm interested to hear about your narcissistic OR autistic mom. Thanks a lot. 

Parents
  • I think only you would know. You have to decide if someone gives more benefit or hurt to your life on the weighing of it, irrespective of the reasons behind it.

    I'm autistic and had a narc mother. I think she was ASD but used the NPD as a masking method and a way to live life. She had no idea she was ASD, on reflection she definitely is. However she is also definitely a covert narc. So after years of abuse and damage, I feel no sympathy for her and nor should any person who'd been put through abuse by another. I'd say to ignore any other co-morbities - if someone is NPD, get away. I've met NPD people with physical disabilities and mental. Doesn't matter. An abuser is an abuser. 

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  • I think only you would know. You have to decide if someone gives more benefit or hurt to your life on the weighing of it, irrespective of the reasons behind it.

    I'm autistic and had a narc mother. I think she was ASD but used the NPD as a masking method and a way to live life. She had no idea she was ASD, on reflection she definitely is. However she is also definitely a covert narc. So after years of abuse and damage, I feel no sympathy for her and nor should any person who'd been put through abuse by another. I'd say to ignore any other co-morbities - if someone is NPD, get away. I've met NPD people with physical disabilities and mental. Doesn't matter. An abuser is an abuser. 

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