Feeling isolated

Hi, I hope your all well. I was diagnosed with Asperger's and selective mutism when I was 21, I am now 31. I have struggled my whole life socially, everyone put my difficulties down to shyness, so it was a relief in a way when I was diagnosed as it was an answer. But deep down I have always felt like I have never been able to fit in society, i have never been able to work due to my anxiety, which has been a huge void in my life. In a lot of ways I am very capable, I am kind, caring, thoughtful, understanding and a good listener. I feel like I'm stuck in the middle, as if my difficulties are not severe but they have just simply stopped me living the life I hoped for. Can anyone relate to me? Thank you so much for listening. It honestly means a lot to me 

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  • Yes, I relate to a lot of that. I’m also a 31 year old female on the spectrum, I was diagnosed about 5 years ago. On another thread in this forum, another user described their autism as ‘a wall’, small enough to peek over the top and see all the ‘normal people’ going about their ‘normal lives’ but too tall to climb over and participate. I can’t really put it any better than that myself, I describe it as being on the outside looking in, here to observe but never participate. You aren’t alone, even though I’m sure it feels that way. When I feel that way I come here, I don’t often say anything because even socialising online is hard for me, makes me feel very vulnerable and anxious, but reading others contributions has helped a lot with the feelings of isolation. 

  • HI!! I really liked or posted. I totally agree with you. I wouldn't say a wall though. I wold say a window: i can see others, they can see me but we can't share sounds. It's exausting.Cold sweat

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