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Newbie letting it all out

Average Mummy

Hello, I'm a newbie... 

When my boy was 6 months old he started to shake his head a lot (mostly at night when he was tired)... I took him to his Health Visitor who assured me he was fine. I went back after his MMR injection because he by then had stopped talking, she did a quick examination (flashing a light in his eye and measured his head) she said he was fine. At 16 months I went to a lady I know whose son did the exact same thing and at 25 months started talking out of the blue, which reassured me a great deal.

Finally I got to see a great Dr who also has children and she took me seriously and said she wanted to send him for the "full works" but my son produces a lot of wax and is awaiting an appointment to go to hospital for an ENT examinations to see if he has glue ear, only after all this has been done will he be assessed for autism

So far I haven't told ANY friends or family. I have told strangers though and 2 friends who are social workers and careers to disabled children and adults. One of them keeps saying: "Stop being embarrassed and ashamed and just tell them". That's not the point. 

The point is. I live far away from my family. I am English but grew up abroad and there is another reason... that being that my son was very advanced, more than all the babies around me at the time. ie crawling at 5 months, saying words like: baby, momma, dadda, water, no, good morning at 6 months, by 7 months he was crawling up AND down the stairs etc etc so I was unfortunately one of those mothers who would share my sons millstones and this ended up upsetting other friends who have babies... mainly my husband's friends and a competition about whose baby was doing what first started. Now (2yrs on) if I tell them that my son has stopped talking completely, isn't ready to be potty trained, won't point or come every time I call him I  am dreading the backlash. I know that I'm being ridiculous but that is just how I feel. 

Being brought abroad I learnt different languages, my husband is a foreigner and has  Aspersers (I have only just discovered this), he has a very high IQ and we would talk to our son in 2 sometimes 3 languages and would talk about what he would do when he was older, which language he would learn first etc etc and now we are thinking: "Will he eat today?", "will he be bullied for being different?", "will he get married and have meaningful relationships?". Our lives have tipped upside down. 

I would like to hear from other parents... how did you tell your parents, family and friends? Did you keep this from some people? What responses did you get?

 

These are my sons symptoms:

Spinning with his eyes to the side of his eye socket in the direction that he is spinning in.

Jumping when seeing something he likes (milk, TV, cookies, cars).

Not coming when I call him 90% of the time.

Lining his cars in a line over and over again.

Doesn't have a big appetite.

Won't point

Will bring me what he wants instead of asking

Won't wave bye-bye anymore

 

GOOD POINTS:

Smiles and laughs A LOT

Will come to me when I tell him off (as if to say sorry)

Will put his cheek on my mouth and pull my face towards him for a kiss when he wants one.

Loves cuddles

Loves books

Is VERY strong

Knows what he wants and goes and gets it and solves problems to get what he wants... (will get a box to climb to the shelf)

  •   

    This morning he was accessed for his 2 year evaluation and was diagnosed as having a global delay so we have to wait two months to see another "specialist" to have another evaluation but he will be starting speech therapy asap (2 months). 

  • when it is confirmed your child is Asd,tell people like family and close friends and do it with pride it is an incredible journey to go on you learn so much.It is not the end of the world.

  • Hi guys, thanks for the reply. My family knows about ASD and ADHD ADD etc because my nephews have High Functioning Autism and ADHD but as my parents live far away (in another country) I have managed to keep most info to myself. I doubt very much that my son has Aspergers because although he is bright he doesn't talk. And those the toddlers with aspergers that I know they all talked at his age. He is 25 months old.

    I dont doubt someone with Aspergers can have a good and fullfilling life, like I've said my husband has Asp.

    He is like any other person except for his little ticks that Ive noticed and he has had good jobs all his life +  his high IQ. He is however very outspoken and says things exactly how he sees them, sometimes without much tact, causing some upset to others.

  • hi - in the end, if you child is diagnosed as autistic then you have to tell family and friends unless you want to cut ties with them.  I've found that most people don't understand about autism, altho they've heard the word + maybe a little bit more sometimes.  So if he has autism it's worthwhile thinking in advance how to explain it simply to people who matter.  As he's getting his hearing checked out 1st,  people can be told about that.  If he then has to have assessments for asd you can tell people that, telling them about each stage of the assessment.  Some people's reactions can be disappointing, even hurtful,  other people will be brilliant + everything in between.  Negative people won't do you or you son any gd at all.  Just remember your child, if diagnosed as being on the spectrum, is the same little person he was before the diagnosis.  See the person 1st + foremost + then learn all you can about how autism affects him so that you can help.

  • Sounds like your son may have some of his fathers aspie traits. Think about your husband - he isn't left alone without anyone - he has you , so don't givw up on your son - he sounds very resourceful already.


    As he gets older he will play to his strengths.

     

    For example my aspie son is hoping to go to uni next year to study elevctronic engineering which is a perfect degree for those who thrive on logic , as thats how microprocessers have to be programmed.

    You can still have high hopes for your son.