How special would someone have to be to you for you to stroke their lower arm?

Something I would probably avoid myself. After many years out of the UK, I returned to find a much stronger culture of hugging. But I'm most certainly not going to rail against it, as it is obviously seen as little more than a sign of friendship these days. Now I'm certainly not averse to hugging, but a bit averse to it with just every one. One could certainly enjoy a bit more intimacy occasionally. There is so very little of it these days, that one tends to suspect there is something a bit dodgy about it. But that is probably a very necessary thing, post-Savile.

I would say that whoever is acting this way really needs to think about friendship/intimacy being a slower, and more sedate & considered thing. On the other hand, I think you owe it to yourself not to be either too quickly dismissive or accepting. I would suggest that this is something that needs to be closely observed for some time, for evidence that it is a sensible move.

I had a neuro pat my knee a few months back. True to form, I over-reacted to it with swiftly raised eyebrows. That might tell you something about me, and it also informed me quite a bit at the time. I think it was a bit of a rash move, but probably not meant to be taken too seriously. (And ethically inadvisable, even here) I actually concluded she was gauging my reaction, knowing already that I had self-identified. And as neuros here are a bit peripheral to ASD assessment, it was also just possible that she was deliberating whether she really wanted to work  with me or not. She ultimately didn't. Probably a sensible decision. ;-)

I long ago realised my own vulnerability. But that realisation needs constant updates. Which is why I even have worries about my own response to some posts on this forum. I would suggest many commenters here would prefer more detailed posts to comment on. We all need some reassurance. Perhaps it is time for you to make your posts a bit more detailed and reassuring.

Something I would probably avoid myself. After many years out of the UK, I returned to find a much stronger culture of hugging. But I'm most certainly not going to rail against it, as it is obviously seen as little more than a sign of friendship these days. Now I'm certainly not averse to hugging, but a bit averse to it with just every one. One could certainly enjoy a bit more intimacy occasionally. There is so very little of it these days, that one tends to suspect there is something a bit dodgy about it. But that is probably a very necessary thing, post-Savile.

I would say that whoever is acting this way really needs to think about friendship/intimacy being a slower, and more sedate & considered thing. On the other hand, I think you owe it to yourself not to be either too quickly dismissive or accepting. I would suggest that this is something that needs to be closely observed for some time, for evidence that it is a sensible move.

I had a neuro pat my knee a few months back. True to form, I over-reacted to it with swiftly raised eyebrows. That might tell you something about me, and it also informed me quite a bit at the time. I think it was a bit of a rash move, but probably not meant to be taken too seriously. (And ethically inadvisable, even here) I actually concluded she was gauging my reaction, knowing already that I had self-identified. And as neuros here are a bit peripheral to ASD assessment, it was also just possible that she was deliberating whether she really wanted to work  with me or not. She ultimately didn't. Probably a sensible decision. ;-)

I long ago realised my own vulnerability. But that realisation needs constant updates. Which is why I even have worries about my own response to some posts on this forum. I would suggest many commenters here would prefer more detailed posts to comment on. We all need some reassurance. Perhaps it is time for you to make your posts a bit more detailed and reassuring.