After diagnosis, confused by my reaction.

your son is still the same child before the diagnosis.At 13 your son is a teenager with a mix of developing hormones and all that brings.so your job now is to nuture and support your son giving him confidence and encouragement.so although you are feeling sorrow,you need to show your son that you love and accept him for what and who he is.If he is not self aware now he will do at some point and your task now is for him to accept himself and he has the potential to do well in life,but with some extra help and support. 

Hi Proud Mummy, We had a diagnosis for our second son today, the first having been diagnosed four years ago.

The most important thing our Pediatritian ever said to us was "Mum and Dad know better than any of us specialists because you know your child"

You have every right to feel upset, lost or confused because even though diagnosis is the end of a long journey, for most It is also a point where you are no longer occupied with all that comes with fighting for a conclusion, thus leaving time to think past it. The future e.c.t.

Do not doubt yourself, there is enough people out there who will do that for you. Take time and have lots of cuddles. 

Hope this is some way to being helpful XX

I made appointment with the doctor who gave me 'not fit for work' note for two weeks,I spoke to the deputy head who said I had not got to worry or feel guilty about not being at work - I did say to her that I felt guilty, and to take as much time as I needed.

My big boy will be coming home in a couple of weeks, cant wait to see him and his gorgeous face again. I only hope he has been protected from the awful scenes we all know happen at war.

He has been diagnosed. Two weeks ago. I am going to see the headteacher tomorrow to try and soout something out. The group I run is a very challenging one and don't feel I could cope with them at the moment. 

I should also maybe point out that my eldest son is currently on his first tour of afghanistan, this is also adding to my emotional state .

Has he actually been diagnosed or just screened?

 ... extra info; our diagnosis seemed quick compared to others i have read about.

I answered questions using the Cambridge and Australian questionnaires and then met with the consultant child & adolescent psychiatrist a few weeks later who gave me his diagnosis at the end of the appointment.

Thank you for your replies, they have been really useful.

I dont know whether to force myself to go to work, keep busy and 'give it a go', or stay at home and stew over my thoughts.

I am normally in total control of everything, making this an extemely foriegn feeling.

My husband is in total denial saying they have just taken what I have said, which is true to a certain extent as we havent had any assessments as such, just loads of questionnaires and one meeting with the physchologist doctor. Hubbie says our boy is just extremely shy that he will be, and is, ok.

Your comment, mum of 3, is spot on where I believed that he would 'grow out of it' . As we have not had loads of rounds of assessments I am doubting the diagnosis, myself and my family as all of us have different theories.

your child is still the same person before it was confirmed he is Asd.As you are now a confirmed member of the autism fraturnity,embrace Asd learn all you can and  celebrate your son's strength positively be confident with him and yourself importantly encourage your son to positively believe in himself.Its important for his self esteam to feel he is a important human being with the potential of a great future. Most importantly you are not alone you are already here to see that.

Hi proud mummy,

I'm not a parent, just someone with Asperger's, but it's my understanding that what you're going through is an entirely normal, and natural reaction.

You see, no matter how well prepared for, or for how long you have been expecting, the diagnosis, you have, in a way, lost the son you thought you previously had, and are greiving that loss.

Take the time you need to grieve.

It will pass.