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Feeling alone

Bscburgess

My 5 yr old son was diagnosed with ASD three weeks ago. I came back from appointment and went to discuss with my partner who went off on a tangent that all I was after was getting our son 'labelled'. I told him to stop right there and when he was ready to ave a discussion with me about it, to come back to me. As yet we have still not spoken about he so he still does not know what the consultant said. He thinks that it now means our boy is special needs, needs to go to special school and has changed over night. My son is still the boy he was before diagnosis. It was not about getting him labelled but to be able to know what was wrong to be able to understand what we could do to bring out his full potential. At the moment I feel so alone as I dont know anyone in a similar situation. I have told my mum the outcome and have also spoke to a close work colleague but still feel alone as I dont feel I can raise the subject with my partner. Am looking to make friends with those that understand it all.

Parents

  • I am new to the forum and this is my first time posting and I was almost relieved to read your post as my husband and I are going through the same thing just now.

    Our son will be 5 in August and was diagnosed two days ago and my husand and I are at very different stages of acceptance. I noticed very early on in my son's life that there was something different about him but it wasn't until he was 3 and started nursery that my husband had to accept that there was a definite issue with his speech and language. He was immediately referred to a speech therapist and after reading a lot on the internet my husband and I were both convinced that he had ASD. The speech therapist sent him to a speech and language nursery which he still attends four mornings a week as well as his mainstream nursery. Also, as he has real problems with social interaction, the mainstream nursery have an outreach worker, who deals with autistic children, working with him once a week to work with him on this area. In the last year, he has made so much progress he is like a completely different child, so my husband and I had started to doubt our initial instincts that he had ASD, so when he was formally diagnosed on Wednesday, we were quite shocked.

    My husbands argument is that he has made so much progress in the last year, whats to say that if they tested him in another years time the result would be the same. My feeling is that the only reason that our son has made any progress over the last year is because he has already had a lot of intervention, most of which is designed for autistic children, and it has obviously worked.

    My family are very supportive but they dont understand. They are trying but I feel very alone as I am the only person who has actually accepted the fact that my son has ASD. Everyone else seems to be trying to find every bit of evidence they can to support that he does not. I feel that I am constantly repeating myself and defending my opinion.

    I think the fact that I knew a long time ago has helped me come to terms with things a lot quicker than my husband and the family. I am hopeful that my husband will eventually come round in his own time, however, I respect that he too has his own opinion.

    After a few arguments, we have agreed that we both want whats best for our son and that we have different opinions. We have set aside a night this week where we are going to gather as much information as we can and then talk about everything properly. We are also going to get a list of questions ready for the consultant.

    You are definitely not alone and I am so glad that I am not now either.

    Hope we talk soon

    Laura x

Reply

  • I am new to the forum and this is my first time posting and I was almost relieved to read your post as my husband and I are going through the same thing just now.

    Our son will be 5 in August and was diagnosed two days ago and my husand and I are at very different stages of acceptance. I noticed very early on in my son's life that there was something different about him but it wasn't until he was 3 and started nursery that my husband had to accept that there was a definite issue with his speech and language. He was immediately referred to a speech therapist and after reading a lot on the internet my husband and I were both convinced that he had ASD. The speech therapist sent him to a speech and language nursery which he still attends four mornings a week as well as his mainstream nursery. Also, as he has real problems with social interaction, the mainstream nursery have an outreach worker, who deals with autistic children, working with him once a week to work with him on this area. In the last year, he has made so much progress he is like a completely different child, so my husband and I had started to doubt our initial instincts that he had ASD, so when he was formally diagnosed on Wednesday, we were quite shocked.

    My husbands argument is that he has made so much progress in the last year, whats to say that if they tested him in another years time the result would be the same. My feeling is that the only reason that our son has made any progress over the last year is because he has already had a lot of intervention, most of which is designed for autistic children, and it has obviously worked.

    My family are very supportive but they dont understand. They are trying but I feel very alone as I am the only person who has actually accepted the fact that my son has ASD. Everyone else seems to be trying to find every bit of evidence they can to support that he does not. I feel that I am constantly repeating myself and defending my opinion.

    I think the fact that I knew a long time ago has helped me come to terms with things a lot quicker than my husband and the family. I am hopeful that my husband will eventually come round in his own time, however, I respect that he too has his own opinion.

    After a few arguments, we have agreed that we both want whats best for our son and that we have different opinions. We have set aside a night this week where we are going to gather as much information as we can and then talk about everything properly. We are also going to get a list of questions ready for the consultant.

    You are definitely not alone and I am so glad that I am not now either.

    Hope we talk soon

    Laura x

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