Feeling alone

My 5 yr old son was diagnosed with ASD three weeks ago. I came back from appointment and went to discuss with my partner who went off on a tangent that all I was after was getting our son 'labelled'. I told him to stop right there and when he was ready to ave a discussion with me about it, to come back to me. As yet we have still not spoken about he so he still does not know what the consultant said. He thinks that it now means our boy is special needs, needs to go to special school and has changed over night. My son is still the boy he was before diagnosis. It was not about getting him labelled but to be able to know what was wrong to be able to understand what we could do to bring out his full potential. At the moment I feel so alone as I dont know anyone in a similar situation. I have told my mum the outcome and have also spoke to a close work colleague but still feel alone as I dont feel I can raise the subject with my partner. Am looking to make friends with those that understand it all.

Parents
  • Hello

    You are certainly amongst people who understand it all here.

    Different people respond very differently when their child receives a diagnosis.  It may be that your partner needs a bit of time to process it before he can come to terms with it/understand it.

    I know some parents in a similar situation who have found that writing things down for their partner, and then leaving the info for them wherever they could read it privately and in their own time has helped.  I guess that gives them something to go back to - you could write down a few key facts and then leave some internet links that your partner could explore more in his own time and when he feels he needs the information.

    You could also write down that you would really appreciate the opportunity to talk about it all, as its hard for you as well.

    The other thing that might help you is being able to talk to other parents locally - you may find there are people there who have had similar experiences who may be able to recommend something.  Plus, as you say, it really does help just to be able to talk to someone else who understands your situation. 

    You could search on your local authority's web site for a local support group, or search the NAS' Autism Services Directory

    http://www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx

    if you type in 'local support group' in the 'I'm looking for' box and then your LA area in the box underneath, that should bring sone options up.

    Hope that helps

    Zoe

Reply
  • Hello

    You are certainly amongst people who understand it all here.

    Different people respond very differently when their child receives a diagnosis.  It may be that your partner needs a bit of time to process it before he can come to terms with it/understand it.

    I know some parents in a similar situation who have found that writing things down for their partner, and then leaving the info for them wherever they could read it privately and in their own time has helped.  I guess that gives them something to go back to - you could write down a few key facts and then leave some internet links that your partner could explore more in his own time and when he feels he needs the information.

    You could also write down that you would really appreciate the opportunity to talk about it all, as its hard for you as well.

    The other thing that might help you is being able to talk to other parents locally - you may find there are people there who have had similar experiences who may be able to recommend something.  Plus, as you say, it really does help just to be able to talk to someone else who understands your situation. 

    You could search on your local authority's web site for a local support group, or search the NAS' Autism Services Directory

    http://www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx

    if you type in 'local support group' in the 'I'm looking for' box and then your LA area in the box underneath, that should bring sone options up.

    Hope that helps

    Zoe

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