Published on 12, July, 2020
Im not sure if this is the right place to come, but I find to much energy wiser to type than to speak to someone face to face.
I dont have have an official diagnosis yet, though am told I am 6th on the waiting list so hopefully not too much longer to wait. I work in a school and had a PD day today where lunch was provided. One of my biggest flaws is that I can’t physically stand the though if eating around other people, and the sound of someone eating makes me feel ill. I was in an office working today when the girl behind me started eating a cracker or something. All I could hear was the crunching, chewing and gulping, to the point I felt I was going to throw up, but also started feeling myself getting angry at myself and the situation. It wad then that another member of staff came in and asked if I was going to get food from the canteen. I said no, but she told me that nobody else was in the hall so I’d be fine. I don’t know whether it was that I felt she wasn’t listening to me, the thought of eating in front of them, or that I could still hear the other girl eating, but I just got up and walked out of the building. A coping strategy I’ve found helps me is driving around in my car, so did just that.
Im not sure whether it’s relevant, but I was due to go into a presentation about our new school building we are moving into in October, and it’s been driving me mad knowing all these changes are coming.
Even writing this this I feel as though my whole body is closing in on its self and can feel my levels of anxiety rising! I’m not even sure what I want in terms of advice, I just need somewhere to let everything out that doesn’t involve talking.
Sorry for boring you
I'm a teacher, and my headteacher has been amazingly understanding, along with a few others I trust. They know I struggle in meetings/group situations/assemblies etc and understand that I may need to opt out of some of these from time to time. I have INSET tomo, and have already looked at the schedule to see which bits I could skip. In fact, one of the organisers (who knows my diagnosis) spoke to me before we broke up about skipping bits. I will also probably skip the communal lunch as a) I need a bit of peace and quiet and b) I'm a fussy eater so prob won't like what is on offer.