Meltdown at work today

Im not sure if this is the right place to come, but I find to much energy wiser to type than to speak to someone face to face. 

I dont have have an official diagnosis yet, though am told I am 6th on the waiting list so hopefully not too much longer to wait. I work in a school and had a PD day today where lunch was provided. One of my biggest flaws is that I can’t physically stand the though if eating around other people, and the sound of someone eating makes me feel ill. I was in an office working today when the girl behind me started eating a cracker or something. All I could hear was the crunching, chewing and gulping, to the point I felt I was going to throw up, but also started feeling myself getting angry at myself and the situation. It wad then that another member of staff came in and asked if I was going to get food from the canteen. I said no, but she told me that nobody else was in the hall so I’d be fine. I don’t know whether it was that I felt she wasn’t listening to me, the thought of eating in front of them, or that I could still hear the other girl eating, but I just got up and walked out of the building. A coping strategy I’ve found helps me is driving around in my car, so did just that. 

Im not sure whether it’s relevant, but I was due to go into a presentation about our new school building we are moving into in October, and it’s been driving me mad knowing all these changes are coming.

Even writing this this I feel as though my whole body is closing in on its self and can feel my levels of anxiety rising! I’m not even sure what I want in terms of advice, I just need somewhere to let everything out that doesn’t involve talking.

Sorry for boring you

Parents
  • O gosh. The eating thing. I had no idea that this was somehow part of autism. I have been on this forum for a matter of days, and found out so much. I certainly feel for you. I worked in an office where people ate lunch at their desks. I wanted to scream and throw up at the same time. It is especially bad at a time when you yourself are feeling low through hunger. I hate eating bananas for the same reason. They make so much noise.

    I used to wear noise-cancelling headphones at lunch, and listen to Gregorian chant. Not totally effective, but it helped loads. 

    All the best with the diagnosis. When mine came along it was just such a relief to know that there was a good reason for being like I am. I am now trying to be myself without feeling guilty about it. I sincerely hope that it works well for you.

Reply
  • O gosh. The eating thing. I had no idea that this was somehow part of autism. I have been on this forum for a matter of days, and found out so much. I certainly feel for you. I worked in an office where people ate lunch at their desks. I wanted to scream and throw up at the same time. It is especially bad at a time when you yourself are feeling low through hunger. I hate eating bananas for the same reason. They make so much noise.

    I used to wear noise-cancelling headphones at lunch, and listen to Gregorian chant. Not totally effective, but it helped loads. 

    All the best with the diagnosis. When mine came along it was just such a relief to know that there was a good reason for being like I am. I am now trying to be myself without feeling guilty about it. I sincerely hope that it works well for you.

Children
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