Published on 12, July, 2020
Im not sure if this is the right place to come, but I find to much energy wiser to type than to speak to someone face to face.
I dont have have an official diagnosis yet, though am told I am 6th on the waiting list so hopefully not too much longer to wait. I work in a school and had a PD day today where lunch was provided. One of my biggest flaws is that I can’t physically stand the though if eating around other people, and the sound of someone eating makes me feel ill. I was in an office working today when the girl behind me started eating a cracker or something. All I could hear was the crunching, chewing and gulping, to the point I felt I was going to throw up, but also started feeling myself getting angry at myself and the situation. It wad then that another member of staff came in and asked if I was going to get food from the canteen. I said no, but she told me that nobody else was in the hall so I’d be fine. I don’t know whether it was that I felt she wasn’t listening to me, the thought of eating in front of them, or that I could still hear the other girl eating, but I just got up and walked out of the building. A coping strategy I’ve found helps me is driving around in my car, so did just that.
Im not sure whether it’s relevant, but I was due to go into a presentation about our new school building we are moving into in October, and it’s been driving me mad knowing all these changes are coming.
Even writing this this I feel as though my whole body is closing in on its self and can feel my levels of anxiety rising! I’m not even sure what I want in terms of advice, I just need somewhere to let everything out that doesn’t involve talking.
Sorry for boring you
We are all different, due to how we process our environment and hate changes.
Is there someone, say headmaster (or someone you tryust), that you can go to to try to help you through your anxiety over the new school building and appropriate presentation?
Could you take copy of the presentation away with you to slowly go through it in your own time?
Maybe your colleague, with good intent, has no real appreciation/empathy of your need for isolation when eating. Sometimes even my perceptions are that people do not listen whereas they are more likely unprepared for the discussion and have no concept/response for us.