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masturbation

catb

Hi im new to all this. I have worked with children for the last eight years some of which have been with autistic/aspergers and severe learning disabilities. I have just moved in with my partner and his 17 year old son who has autism and severe learning disabilities but is extremely sexually active. I have just found him masturbating with my 9 year olds shoes. I am extremely distressed what do i do???

  • No real advice but just wanted you to know i had read and sympathised, it sounds like a very hard postition for you to be in - I would agree with what crystal said about finding out about the actual shoes... xx

  • hi catb.   As you know, he's a young man so he's going to have sexual feelings. I explained to my son that certain things are private, because he didn't know that.  Things like getting dressed/undressed, washing/showering/going to the toilet and masturbation.  From these early beginnings my son now has a better idea of privacy, inc an appreciation of it in that he can at times let you know when he wants some privacy + not just for the situations mentioned above.   So it's how much does your partner's son understand verbally?  If not, then maybe pictures wd help.  Do you know why the shoes got involved?  This wd cause you distress as they belong to your child.    He may not know he's done anything wrong + the fact they were your child's might not have meant anything to him.  What does your partner say?  Maybe he can shed some light on things.  Whatever, keep your cool with him, as a scene will make things worse, as I'm sure you know.  When you've discussed everything with your partner, who must know his son well, then you can work out a way fwd.  bw