Dental Health Options & Anxiety

Yes thats a good idea I have done that in the past, I was given Diazepam just to get me to the waiting room....

Good luck let us know how you get on.

That's really bad of your manager - a lunch break is meant to be a break.

As for the 'safeguarding risk', that would only have been true if you had been taking illegal drugs onsite, bringing them with you or attending the support group while under the effects of either them or alcohol - but you weren't doing any of those things. It just seems incredibly unfair and a real shame that someone has lied about you and left you with an inaccurate reputation.

As for your jaw, I hope the pain doesn't come back in any serious way and yes, do take pain meds if you need to, rather than suffer through it.

I don't know if they could legally force me to stay on site, but the local manager told me to "concentrate on work" during my lunch breaks.

I don't know who approached the support group leaders, though I could speculate. I was told that I present a "safeguarding risk" to the children and vulnerable adults who attend, so I feel it would be less worry and work for everyone if I kept my distance. If it's the person I suspect the most of contacting the support group, they have a nasty habit of exaggerating. Although I don't recall seeing any children at the lunch time sessions, so they must have been catered for on evenings and weekends.

Today I can feel an ache in my jaw again, though it's still very mild. I might have to start taking paracetamols again soon.

You've really been through an ordeal there.

A few points particularly stand out...

Could your old employer lawfully force you to stay on site during your lunch break? If it wasn't stipulated in your contract that you had to, I don't see how they could.

They might have been put out that you were now taking your lunch break because they had got used to having you available, but you were perfectly entitled to, so they had absolutely nothing to complain about!

The impact (practical and emotional) of meeting another autistic person can be huge, particularly in the early times of 'realising' and learning more about oneself.

Who approached the support group leaders and how did they even know who/where they were? Had you told your old workplace that you were going to a support group and which one it was? Whoever it was clearly completely lied about you - taking one overdose is not even close to having a 'drug habit'. That's a truly heinous thing for them to have done.

Did you ever try to approach the support group leaders yourself to set the record straight? From what you have said about them, it sounds as though they might have listened to you and realised the truth. I don't know what kind of support group would evict one of its members for an overdose.

You have no need to feel guilty about the effect of your overdose on the rest of the support group - people attend support groups because they need or want 'support' - the assumption is therefore that not everything is ok with everyone attending (i.e. people might be/become depressed, anxious or any number of things - acting on that is not intended to harm anyone else and the other members would/should be more concerned about your welfare in that situation than any slight effect it may have had on them).

You've done a great job of keeping everything you've described and everyone you've mentioned above entirely unidentifiable.

As for the long post - there's no need to apologise. I've been writing far-too-long emails for years, since long before I knew I was autistic, and am still always trying to reduce the length of my emails and forum posts!

I had an extraction in my mid-late 20's without sedation and because of the way my teeth have grown (with extra roots, apparently) it took her about twice as long to pull than it should.

Even though I had anaesthetic I was already experiencing anxiety and while I thought I could handle it going in, I felt like a wreck afterward.

Since then I've started to have heightened anxiety borderlining on panic attacks when I just go for a check-up. I don't think I could manage another extraction without sedation.

Maybe I need to see my GP about increasing the dose on my anxiety medication.

I have big dental anxiety problems. When I was younger I had to have a lot of fillings and opted for sedation, which actually isn't total sedation just partial but it was enough for me to realise the treatment was not as bad as I had feared, now when I go to a dentist I still hate it but am able to cope with a local so the initial expense of the sedation was well worth the money. i can pretty much guarantee you from experience it will not be as bad as you fear. Good luck.

Thank you for your encouragement.

This is going to go off-topic again, but for context:

It used to be that I'd just go through life on auto-pilot, so to speak, just following instructions, fixing things, keeping a roof over our heads and putting food on the table. Then we got new management and our team of four was reduced to just me, as I was competent enough to complete tasks, but not senior enough to demand a high salary.

The workload got to the point where I was considering doing something I would regret to the man who claimed to be my manager, when one of the customers asked me what was in the box I was carrying. I was so enraged that I was ready to attack the next person I saw, but something in her voice calmed me to the point where I didn't act on my anger at all.

Over the following months we kept seeing each other by coincidence and she explained to me about her autism diagnosis - she was very talkative and to be honest I found it soothing - and she mentioned that I seem to have some of the same traits. She also told me about some of the abuse she had suffered from her own mother and though I managed to keep my composure, I burst into tears once I was alone in my office. The barriers I had put in front of my emotions had finally given way completely.

Thankfully she had left her mother behind in a different city and they rarely see each other if at all, but the abuse still affects her. I made it my mission to give her a sense of self worth. During one of my days off I arranged to fix some of the appliances at her house. Nothing happened, as I'm married with 3 kids and I'd do nothing that would risk losing them, and the customer was also in a relationship, but I must have run about £200 of repairs for free in my own time and using my own tools. No financial expense to the company.

Gossip can be a real pain in the posterior though, and when my real manager found out that I'd repaired a contracted customer's equipment in my own time in their own home, that was unacceptable. I was also told not to have any more contact with her at work. These instructions shoved me deep into depression, but she wasn't aware of them. I kept talking to her when my manager (who isn't based at that branch) wasn't around and she introduced me to a local autism support group, which had some great people. Their group mentor is really experienced and helped me a lot.

Even though we were allowed to leave the premises for our lunch breaks, the fact that I was the only on-site engineer caused a lot of complaints when I was absent every day for the half-hour unpaid lunch break I have; I used to just eat in my office, so I was easy to find and I'd just eat for 5 minutes and work through the rest of it, but when I started going to some of the mid-day support session (I'd get 10 to 15 minutes there, depending on traffic), management took notice.

The customer's name was mentioned during a meeting to discuss my "absences" and I was told not to leave the building for lunch any more.

After about a year of not attending the support group, I took an overdose (won't say of what, I don't want to give anyone any suggestions, but it wasn't an illegal substance). I'd been self harming in other ways after the meeting, but my workload was particularly high that day and I sure it had reached a point where I could lose my job anyway. I managed to stay awake, but my behaviour was noticably different. A few weeks later I confided in someone over what had happened, they told someone with a union contact and they informed management.

Next thing I know I'm out of a job with a small settlement and the support group leaders don't want me around because of my "drug habit" which was a one-off.

My wife found out about my self harm and made me promise not to do that again. Ordinarily you'd think a person's own children would be emotionally rewarding, but mine are quite independent and rarely speak to me when I'm at home. They're all still under 18, so they need me to earn a living until they can do so themselves.

My depression took a greater hold when I came to the realisation that how I'd managed my stress with the overdose may have been leaked to the wider community, including the support group, which would be extremely harmful to them, and harming them is the opposite of what I want. I can't forgive myself for that, and why else would I be barred from the group?

The support I got for depression told me how to handle negative thoughts, but I'm out-stripping my supply of good thoughts to replace them with. I want to help people, but a job where I can do that to my heart's content won't pay for the mortgage, bills and food shopping.

So I go to my new job every day with no sense of reward, with an "equal" who struggles to find item number 1 in a numerically ordered list. I'm not making that up, it actually happened! All the customers are the strong independent types who just need someone to order the right parts for them and not use any technical skills whatsoever. But it pays well. I can't complain there.

I'm sorry if that was a bit long; I've tried to keep the identities and locations vague to protect the innocent. Hopefully I haven't overstepped the line.

That all sounds really tough - good on you for making it through. I hope you remember to praise yourself for the positive qualities you have and for your achievements, and don't only focus on the things you find tricky. You must have a lot of strength, resilience and resourcefulness.

There's often a trade off regarding work - I think less stress can quite often mean a less interesting or rewarding job. (Although even unchallenging and unrewarding jobs can be stressful at times, depending on who you are working with!) It's good you were able to access some support in finding a job with less stress - are you finding it easier than the job you left, even if it isn't rewarding?

I understand your reluctance to tell the hospital the cause of your chest injury, although it seems strange they didn't ask. I don't think that they can legally send anyone away who has an injury through self-harm though - they have a duty of care to every patient and aren't allowed to pick and choose who to treat.

In terms of the services having given you a clean bill of mental health, should that make a difference if you were referred back to them, as the very nature of mental health is that conditions fluctuate - so just because someone is ok (or thereabouts) at one point in time doesn't mean that they won't need support again in future. I'm sure you wouldn't be the first person to be given a clean bill of health and then go back to them because your depression and anxiety (I'm making an assumption here that it would be for those things which you would want to be referred again - sorry if that's not right) had come back or got worse.

Apart from everything else, it sounds as though you could do with a self-esteem boost - you come across as a decent and thoughtful person and, given what you've said about your depression and self-harm (as well as being autistic), you really shouldn't be worrying about whether other people need more urgent help. Your need is just as important and you wouldn't be put ahead of a person who was in a really desperate situation, as services have to prioritise anyone needing emergency help. You definitely haven't been a burden - we all have difficult times in our lives and deserve proper support during them.

I went through a hard time (a period of a few years) at work which ended up in me leaving my previous job about this time last year.

I was referred to mental health services and offered a place on a trial service to help people with long term illnesses to stay in or find work. My new job is a lot less stressful, but nowhere near as emotionally rewarding.

During my first trip to A&E after a panic attack a few years ago, I was given a chest X-ray among other checks for heart & lung problems, and was told that the pain in that area was musculo-skeletal, and was given a course of co-codamol which didn't really do much to fix the problem long-term. Nobody asked what caused the injury and I was reluctant to tell anyone it was self inflicted as I feared I'd be sent away for intentionally making myself unwell to gain attention.

If I reach out again I fear I'll either go through the same services which have granted me a clean bill of mental health already, or I'll make myself feel worse for taking time and resources away from others who need more urgent help.

Thank you for taking the time to talk to me so far. I hope I haven't been a burden.

I'm glad the paramedics were understanding, but sorry to hear it was your wife who said that. Perhaps, as she wasn't with you at the time, she didn't realise how bad it was for you? Is she usually more understanding?

Depending on how long ago you did that to your ribs, maybe it will gradually heal (although that is also something you should have looked at if the pain continues).

Are you getting any support from anyone/anywhere? It sounds as though you have an awful lot to contend with and have been having a difficult time all round. And you are working as well, which can be quite stressful/depressing in itself if you don't have accommodations and/or the people you work with don't properly understand what being autistic means and is like.

I'm glad to hear that you will call 111 if you need to - there's no point being in agony if you don't have to be and that is exactly what A&E is there for!

The paramedics seemed to be very understanding, but it was my wife who told me I'd wasted their time.

The damage to my ribs was another form of self harm which I engaged in. It usually doesn't hurt, but if I press certain areas or breathe very deeply the pain becomes noticeable. I thought it was strange that it didn't show up in any X-rays. I've probably only damaged the soft tissue around my ribs and that's what's hurting.

But back on topic, I'll definitely call 111 the next time the pain in my jaw becomes unmanageable.

I didn't know that there is an online 111 service either - that's handy to know! It's great that your current painkillers are working well - hopefully, they will see you through the worst of it. At least you know you have 111 or A&E as back up if you need them, especially if the infection hasn't entirely gone.

Sorry to hear you have panic attacks (i.e. the one you mentioned before wasn't a one-off) - they must be really frightening. It shows how bad your jaw pain was if it caused you to have one. It is surprising that the blunt trauma to your ribs hasn't shown up (or been noticed) on your X-rays - I thought they picked up most things.

It's nice of you to be so considerate of other people/patients, but it's important that you get whatever treatment you need yourself - it's not a waste of anyone's time if you are in need of help (and especially if you are in pain and/or distressed). You must have been in quite a bad way if you felt you couldn't drive safely and it sounds as though you needed the paramedics to help you to calm down, so it's good that they were there.

No worries.

I discovered there is a 111 online service, so I typed my symptoms and answered several questions on there to see if I should call 111 and it said I should, but I haven't called 111 or visited A&E yet as the painkillers are working very effectively and I haven't used any paracetamol, lidocaine gel or benzocaine gel all weekend.

I had the panic attack at a pharmacy, but they only called the ambulance after I started clutching my chest. Thing is, that's happened before (same pharmacy) but my chest pains have been diagnosed as being skeletal, as I have untreated blunt trauma to my ribs, which surprisingly hasn't been picked up on any X-rays. The panic attack itself was caused by the pain in my jaw at the time.

The paramedics gave me the option to go to hospital, but I declined not wanting to waste anyone else's time. They did manage to calm me down and I called a friend to drive me home, as I couldn't trust myself behind the wheel at that point.

Occasionally I feel a sharp pain in my neck, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was before I started on the prescription pain killers. I suspect the antibiotics didn't quite eradicate the infection, so I'll call 111 if it flares back up.

Sorry for the delay in replying. How did your call to 111 and/or your trip to A&E go? And how has the pain been over the weekend?

You don't need to feel guilty about the time you had a panic attack as it wasn't you who called the ambulance and I'm guessing the person didn't know that you were having a panic attack, but could see that something potentially serious was happening to you. (A panic attack is quite troubling though.)

Thank you for your concern. I think I'll call 111 tomorrow ahead of a visit to A&E this weekend, as I don't want to get in the way of an emergency.

Somebody called an ambulance for me while I was having a panic attack and I feel guilty that they could have been dealing with someone who was in real trouble instead of me.

I'm sorry to hear the pain has flared up lately and hope it stayed mild for the rest of today (and will be overnight). Good luck with your A&E - really hope you can have your extractions done and become pain-free soon.

I told the GP about the delay until January, but I get the feeling he wants me to go back to my dentist.

The pain is relatively mild this morning, but it has flared up unexpectedly in recent days, so it could do so again..

The next time I'm off work I'll check with my local A&E.

That sounds pretty bad. As well as the possibility of getting addicted, I was also thinking that it's bad for your stomach lining to take too many of certain types of painkillers. Hopefully, your GP will have taken both those things into consideration before prescribing them though - I'm guessing you'll have told your GP that you're not going to be seen by the sedation clinic until January, so they won't have prescribed you anything it would be unsafe to take for several months.

I meant to say in an earlier message that it might be worth checking whether your A&E can provide sedation for emergency dental work, so that you know your options.

Anyway, hope you do manage to get some sleep.

That sounds pretty bad. As well as the possibility of getting addicted, I was also thinking that it's bad for your stomach lining to take too many of certain types of painkillers. Hopefully, your GP will have taken both those things into consideration before prescribing them though - I'm guessing you'll have told your GP that you're not going to be seen by the sedation clinic until January, so they won't have prescribed you anything it would be unsafe to take for several months.

I meant to say in an earlier message that it might be worth checking whether your A&E can provide sedation for emergency dental work, so that you know your options.

Anyway, hope you do manage to get some sleep.

My wife also questioned that, hoping that I don't become addicted to pain killers.

Right now my teeth don't hurt as much but I'm feeling a lot of pain in my head and neck.

Hopefully I'll be able to sleep. I'm due into work tomorrow morning.