Fighting a loosing bettle help pls

Hi I was so relieved when my son was diagnosed with autism and adhd, considering when he was 18months old I asked my health visitor if he was autistic. It has  been a very very long road to diagnosis.

His psychiatrist diagnosed him then refered him to tier 2 cahms, he has recieved no help from anyone but the school since diagnoses. One night he was having a very major meltdown and he was swearing badly at me whilst crying and I think it was tears because he didn't want to be saying these things to me but couldn't control himself. He then started talking about self harm and comiting suicide, I was beside myself with worry and didn't quite know where to turn, I opted to call social care and ask them for help for him, I explained everything to her and whe said.... Oh it sounds awful poor you, anyway its half past 5 and there is nobody in the office I will pass on the message tomorrow. I couldn't believe my ears, she gave me no advice and didn't suggest who to contact. I called the police, the doctors and others I could think of, by that time he had worked himself up into such a frenzy he was exhausted and fell asleep. I spoke to Bucks carers the next day who called social care for me and also his psychiatrist, who informed her that he was refered to tier 2 cams rather than tier 3 because he showed no signs of his autism effecting his mental health. Now I have told her about his suicidal thoughts and his anger and his meltdown and the fact that the following day after a meltdown he suffers with terrible stomache aches and headaches ect. Could you pass on your oppinions as to whether I should be pushing for him to be placed in teir 3 and actually recieve help or was she right to put him in tier 2, and what is the difference between the two. I feel like I am fighting a loosing battle and any and all advice would be very much appreciated xx ty

Parents
  • bananas said:

    Sorry it is so tough so now. My son is 18 diagnosed at 17. We have had the self harm and suicidal thought, but things have got better now.  The things we did were take him to the GP and explain about the suicidal thoughts . They referred us to adult mental health team as he was 18, but once we saw them they said he wasn't bad enough to come under them - but in a positive way - it actually gave him a confidence boost to know he wasn't as bad as he thought. They gave us the emergency phone number and also said A &E will always have a duty psychaitrist too . He has been on the equicvalent of prozac for anxierty for about 6 months, which was working but  they doubled the does when they knew about the depression and this has really helped.

    I understand the playsation thing entirely. Is there any way you could get one just for your son - second hand maybe - I guess you might need a TV too. Do you get DLA - I would consider this a good use of the money as it will help keep him occupied and calm which reduces meltdowns that impact on everyone.

    I hope this have given you some ideas - all I'd say is just keep knocking on doors until you find some help. It's out there , but they won't give it to you unless you tell them in no uncertain terms you need it.

    Keep posting

    Hiya, thanks for your input, I am currently working my way through the form for DLA and am glad you said it would be a good use of the money as this was something we were thinking about doing. Its hard because my friends with neurotypical children do not understand and tell me he his manipulating me and he just wants his own way, which in my oppinion isn't true. Also could I approach the housing association and explain his desperate need for his own space and see if they would consider us for a 4 bed house? xx

Reply
  • bananas said:

    Sorry it is so tough so now. My son is 18 diagnosed at 17. We have had the self harm and suicidal thought, but things have got better now.  The things we did were take him to the GP and explain about the suicidal thoughts . They referred us to adult mental health team as he was 18, but once we saw them they said he wasn't bad enough to come under them - but in a positive way - it actually gave him a confidence boost to know he wasn't as bad as he thought. They gave us the emergency phone number and also said A &E will always have a duty psychaitrist too . He has been on the equicvalent of prozac for anxierty for about 6 months, which was working but  they doubled the does when they knew about the depression and this has really helped.

    I understand the playsation thing entirely. Is there any way you could get one just for your son - second hand maybe - I guess you might need a TV too. Do you get DLA - I would consider this a good use of the money as it will help keep him occupied and calm which reduces meltdowns that impact on everyone.

    I hope this have given you some ideas - all I'd say is just keep knocking on doors until you find some help. It's out there , but they won't give it to you unless you tell them in no uncertain terms you need it.

    Keep posting

    Hiya, thanks for your input, I am currently working my way through the form for DLA and am glad you said it would be a good use of the money as this was something we were thinking about doing. Its hard because my friends with neurotypical children do not understand and tell me he his manipulating me and he just wants his own way, which in my oppinion isn't true. Also could I approach the housing association and explain his desperate need for his own space and see if they would consider us for a 4 bed house? xx

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