Obviously I know I this is a community forum, not a medical one, I'm not looking for a diagnosis or anything. I just want some reassurance that yes, it's a possibility, I should start pursuing a diagnosis, or no, I'm just weird, stop worrying about it. I've been so stressed about the possibility that my whole world view and sense of self is pretty skewed. I've looked quite thoroughly through Tania Marshall's list of potential symptoms in women with Asperger's and a large amount of them seem to apply. Honestly, there's not that many that don't apply. What has me doubting is the concept that not everyone does these things too? These things are so normal to me that it's weirder to comprehend that they're weird. Also, a lot of these symptoms are ones I have always attributed to the 9 years of depression and the increasingly severe anxiety. I had never considered that there might be an underlying cause such as Asperger's.
It was only when I saw a video on Facebook of a woman describing her Asperger's that I realised some of them resonated with me. I did some more reading, especially of accounts/interviews from young women with Asperger's and some of the things they've said have been so accurate and familiar that it's scary - talking about study habits at university or obsessions that they have (I think my family always assumed I would grow out of my obsessions but I haven't yet), feeling out of place or stressed in social situations but being able to hide it. Now that I'm aware of the potential symptoms, I notice them in myself as well - I'm constantly bouncing my leg or tapping or otherwise fidgeting, I can't keep eye contact during a conversation. Loud voices or noises have always made me anxious and I've always been 'over-sensitive' or 'over-emotional' and I've always been sensitive to mostly sound but also smells like weed or cigarette smoke - they make me gag.
I spent hours the other night typing up bullet-pointed potential symptoms that apply, some of my thoughts on it, or examples of that particular thing, some recent, some from childhood. It came to about 10 pages and I'm still thinking of more examples. It's currently looking like I'm not going to complete my degree because of whatever difficulties I'm facing and I'm despairing at the prospect because I know I'm intellectually capable but somehow I just can't finish it.
With all of this, am I being paranoid and ridiculous and worrying about nothing or does it seem plausible enough that I should pursue it with my GP and university support services?
Hi. Have you looked into Sarah Hendrickx? She has really good youtube vids and some books out about females on the spectrum. I'm still debating after almost 3 years whether to see my GP about it. I'm currently diagnosed with anxiety but I can see I've been an anxious person all my life. Whatever difficulties your facing AS related or not, maybe see your Uni about it. Good luck.