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Is this autism or something else?

Tic

Hi there!

please excuse what is probably a topic already done to death by many other people here but my middle son, Jake, is currently under investigation for possible ASD and has been for the last year. He is 3 with the following things which were flagged by specialists at various stages:

  • little language (he has echolalia - both immediate and delayed)
  • very aggressive
  • obsessive behaviour
  • cannot play with others
  • cannot play with toys
  • spends most of his time looking at things very closely
  • throws stuff
  • screams a lot
  • cannot follow instructions at times
  • does not understand most of what is said to him
  • shows no interest in others
  • obsessed with motion such as vehicles, water pouring, sand timers etc
  • reacts violently to controlled environments where he is not in charge
  • eats very little - incredibly particular about foods and if they touch each other
  • can only express wants/needs - does not engage in two-way conversation ever
  • cannot count or respond to questions
  • does not recognise his own name at times
  • cannot distunguish people in photos
  • cannot distinguish between people with similar hair e.g. every blonde girl is "elle", his sister's friend and everyone with dark hair is his sister
  • has to do things in a particular order and gets very upset and violent if this does not happen
  • will tolerate the dentist but not doctors, nurses, hair dressers or having his shoes fitted
  • has no concept of safety - either his own or other people's
  • does not interpret emotions in others
  • harms self regularly

That list is not exhaustive but I figured it was long enough to start with. We've been to all different kinds of people (most of which say they don't know what to do or how to help him as he's so uncooperative) and I'm waiting on the local psychology team to meet him later this month and hopefully make some suggestions as to what, if anything, is wrong with him. Does this sound like ASD or something else entirely?

I don't know - no one is really saying anything definite but they keep throwing autism out there as the only option they are considering. I've got no problem with a diagnosis being made, it's more what if there is nothing wrong with him and I'm stuck with a lovely but very limited little boy who may not improve ever. Either that or I've dropped the ball completely with him and I'm a terrible parent... Cry

Parents

  • hi pigeonjumper.  You say they keep mentioning autism as a poss diagnosis.  This cd because of the behaviours you mention in your post.  It can take quite a long time to get a diagnosis, so it's a stressful.  Please don't think you're a terrible parent.  There is a genetic component to autism + you couldn't have done anything about that.  Just like I couldn't.  Being a parent of a child with autism can be very difficult.  I've certainly felt inadequate, tired, angry, confused, depressed etc.  But as you learn more + more about how asd affects your child, then you realise how difficult life can be for them.  It sinks in that however stressful it is for you, it's worse for them.  This is where "the behaviours" come from.   Have you seen a paediatrician?  In the meantime it might be helpful to research this site, in case an asd diagnosis is confirmed later.  Being a parent of a child with autism means you have to change the way you think and, consequently, behave.  It may not appear this way at present, but you are the most important person in his life, even if he doesn't realise it yet.    

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  • hi pigeonjumper.  You say they keep mentioning autism as a poss diagnosis.  This cd because of the behaviours you mention in your post.  It can take quite a long time to get a diagnosis, so it's a stressful.  Please don't think you're a terrible parent.  There is a genetic component to autism + you couldn't have done anything about that.  Just like I couldn't.  Being a parent of a child with autism can be very difficult.  I've certainly felt inadequate, tired, angry, confused, depressed etc.  But as you learn more + more about how asd affects your child, then you realise how difficult life can be for them.  It sinks in that however stressful it is for you, it's worse for them.  This is where "the behaviours" come from.   Have you seen a paediatrician?  In the meantime it might be helpful to research this site, in case an asd diagnosis is confirmed later.  Being a parent of a child with autism means you have to change the way you think and, consequently, behave.  It may not appear this way at present, but you are the most important person in his life, even if he doesn't realise it yet.    

Children
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