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Newly diagnosed son,aged 3.5

Wolfy

Hi, I'm sorry, I don't know the anacronyms-I'll have to find help or brush up. And before understanding where and how I should post, I put this message under a reply to someone else.  I have had a really kind and helpful reply from Crystal12 and am now posting here - just in case any one else would like to comment, or in case there is any one else out there struggling like me.

My son, who will be 4 in Nov, has just been diagnosed and I just feel grief-stricken.  I am either sad or furious, I feel resentful of people we know, angry at God, and pretty much alone.  My son is the most adorable little baggage, but I feel such loss, loss of my dreams for him and us, wondering if he will ever communicate with us, if he will ever be able to participate in childhood rites of passage like Christmas, building a den with friends, or even not needing nappies.  Mostly I am terribly sad that where I once saw him, I now see ASD.  Does anyone else feel like this?  When will the pain become acceptance?  I feel guilty for seeing symptoms and not my son.

I am looking at various interventions (does everyone do this?) and wonder if anyone has any experience of DIRFloortime or Son-Rise?

Anyhow, you sound like a wonderful community, I wish you much love and happiness with the special children and adults in your lives.

Parents

  • hi wolfy Laughing

    dont worry about all the details, i guess most of them anyway i think most people do

    im sorry its hit you hard, but you will eventually find a way to deal with it, its always hard at first, especially if you arent sure what it means for your kids future, but once you get into the swing of it, understand some of the issues autism can cause etc it gets a bit easier

    when my partner was diagnosed, yes i saw asd, i still kinda do, i dont know how to disgintush him from aspergers, because who he is is very aspergery Laughing

    obviously i dont know what its like from your perspective or with having a kid with asd, but i do think if you get informed, read and research lots of info, you can eventually find a way to get through it rather than feel its going to take over your lives

    what i will say si, if anyone hasnt told you yet, just cause your child has autism it doesnt mean their life is over, it just means it will be a bit more difficult (due to social issues) and its just different,

    your the second person ive seen here with the same 'is their life over' feeling of dread, i dont think it is, and i know a lot of other autistics (many famous) will say that too

    you have to remember that tho he might not have those SAME childhood rites, he might not NEED them, and he might get differnt ones, ones that will fit with who HE is

    i think that pain will become acceptable and less when you get better education not from scaremongers or people who dont actually tell you how it really is

    im not saying autism is easy or a brilliant thing to have, but it isnt the end of the world either

    and im betting your son will have a brilliant future with his parents there to guide and help him

Reply

  • hi wolfy Laughing

    dont worry about all the details, i guess most of them anyway i think most people do

    im sorry its hit you hard, but you will eventually find a way to deal with it, its always hard at first, especially if you arent sure what it means for your kids future, but once you get into the swing of it, understand some of the issues autism can cause etc it gets a bit easier

    when my partner was diagnosed, yes i saw asd, i still kinda do, i dont know how to disgintush him from aspergers, because who he is is very aspergery Laughing

    obviously i dont know what its like from your perspective or with having a kid with asd, but i do think if you get informed, read and research lots of info, you can eventually find a way to get through it rather than feel its going to take over your lives

    what i will say si, if anyone hasnt told you yet, just cause your child has autism it doesnt mean their life is over, it just means it will be a bit more difficult (due to social issues) and its just different,

    your the second person ive seen here with the same 'is their life over' feeling of dread, i dont think it is, and i know a lot of other autistics (many famous) will say that too

    you have to remember that tho he might not have those SAME childhood rites, he might not NEED them, and he might get differnt ones, ones that will fit with who HE is

    i think that pain will become acceptable and less when you get better education not from scaremongers or people who dont actually tell you how it really is

    im not saying autism is easy or a brilliant thing to have, but it isnt the end of the world either

    and im betting your son will have a brilliant future with his parents there to guide and help him

Children
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