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So desperate :( have hit rock bottom with statement process, any help appreciated :(

Midnight

Hi.. I have an 8 year old wee man with Asperger's/HFA and a borderline visual impairment in a mainstream environment, I also believe he has CVI (but we have an uncooperative eye doc who says it's 'just his ASD') and severe Dyslexia and Dyscalcula (but they won't test until he's 12 apparently)

I had thought the statement process was going well. We had to appeal once with further information, once we got it it progressed well. We just had the final appointment - the medical. We're waiting for the typed notes to get to the LEA and they will be sending out a provisional statement - our request was very simple - that he requires a specialist ASD provision (there is an ASD school ages 5-19, Abbots Lea).

It has been a five year uphill tooth and nail roller coaster of a battle to get this far. We've been misled, downright lied to, and had conflicting 'facts' bandied about every step of the way and it has nearly broken me. (I also have a systemic autoimmune disease so..meh!)

I called for an update today - it looks like they will be happy to name the provision. But then the whammer - 'I'm sorry to break it to you, but you do know there is a 2 year waiting list for Abbots Lea, if not longer? Did no one tell you?'

Cry

He won't even be in junior school any more by the time he goes.

I'm SO desperate I will do ANYTHING to help him - does anyone know what on Earth I can do?! We have been refused a 1:1 assistant due to there not being a physical/severe behavioural issue. There is no other ASD accredited provision.

Can I volunteer as his 1:1 assistant myself in school for three days a week? Is it legally allowed? I have run out of options. I don't know who/where else to go. 

I will be homeschooling him until he can go if I can't fix this somehow. I'm trying to do my degree and become a teacher so it will be a massive sacrifice to our future as a family ... and also my wellbeing (he is full on!!!!) this is just a nightmare. 

Also, is there any kind of mental health support going?! I don't want anti depressants (yuck) but this is really getting too much.

Thanks so much Cry

PS - he is receiving lliterally nothing in school at the moment. The class teaching assistant has been cut down to two days a week and isn't even 5:1 when she works with him. He's basically sitting there twiddling his thumbs in a state of confusion. We hve been told that he will continue receiving nothing even with the provision named, until he can go!!!!!!!

Parents

  • Well - I made the quick decision to home school him ASAP after a meeting with the head and Senco who reiterated that even with the extra funding if he got a statement they would not self-fund an assistant, even part time, and his support in the classroom would not be increased (his 'support' being visual timetables and a number line behind a cardboard screen. And no helper. At all.) nor would any outside help be brought in.

    So I informed them I was removing him - I informed the LEA the next day, and luckily I was just in time - as they had begun their decision process, writing out the provisional statement. So they would have named his mainstream on it had I not removed him when I had, and we would have had to appeal the decision.

    Yes Crystal the LEA can write 'an autism school' but they won't! Also there is only one applicable provision he can attend in the wide local area, until secondary when there are two or three more choices - and they all have immense waiting lists!

    So I'm now a full time home schooler, with no preperation, and no support, I'm also having to do all the Senco duties (well I was anyway) the head teacher duties, and all the statement forms and appeals and prep - it's all on my shoulders. I have a feeling the LEA are going to try to slap us with a note in lieu, and Theo won't even get on the list for Abbots Lea without a court battle Cry I'm just waiting for the ominous brown envelope to flop through the letter box. 

    I can't do my placement for my degree anymore (volunteering in a school!) and they don't count homeschooling towards practical experience for placement related courses (not even for the SEN teaching assistant diploma I can do alongside, ffs!).... I'm still doing my degree part time at home and running a small art business... and Theo is incredibly full on - I now have no break from him whatsoever whilst trying to do my other things, which is already starting to show Foot in Mouth and I'm trying to deal with the possibility of being diagnosed with MS (as well as my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome - systemic degenerative condition...)... and make sure I don't leave my two daughters out!!

    Life is tough. 

    On the plus side - Theo seems very content with his home schooling and happy to undertake the tasks. Although he did slap me across the face on the bus on Friday. But heyho! 

Reply

  • Well - I made the quick decision to home school him ASAP after a meeting with the head and Senco who reiterated that even with the extra funding if he got a statement they would not self-fund an assistant, even part time, and his support in the classroom would not be increased (his 'support' being visual timetables and a number line behind a cardboard screen. And no helper. At all.) nor would any outside help be brought in.

    So I informed them I was removing him - I informed the LEA the next day, and luckily I was just in time - as they had begun their decision process, writing out the provisional statement. So they would have named his mainstream on it had I not removed him when I had, and we would have had to appeal the decision.

    Yes Crystal the LEA can write 'an autism school' but they won't! Also there is only one applicable provision he can attend in the wide local area, until secondary when there are two or three more choices - and they all have immense waiting lists!

    So I'm now a full time home schooler, with no preperation, and no support, I'm also having to do all the Senco duties (well I was anyway) the head teacher duties, and all the statement forms and appeals and prep - it's all on my shoulders. I have a feeling the LEA are going to try to slap us with a note in lieu, and Theo won't even get on the list for Abbots Lea without a court battle Cry I'm just waiting for the ominous brown envelope to flop through the letter box. 

    I can't do my placement for my degree anymore (volunteering in a school!) and they don't count homeschooling towards practical experience for placement related courses (not even for the SEN teaching assistant diploma I can do alongside, ffs!).... I'm still doing my degree part time at home and running a small art business... and Theo is incredibly full on - I now have no break from him whatsoever whilst trying to do my other things, which is already starting to show Foot in Mouth and I'm trying to deal with the possibility of being diagnosed with MS (as well as my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome - systemic degenerative condition...)... and make sure I don't leave my two daughters out!!

    Life is tough. 

    On the plus side - Theo seems very content with his home schooling and happy to undertake the tasks. Although he did slap me across the face on the bus on Friday. But heyho! 

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