Loneliness Is Killing Me

Hi I'm 26 & I was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum a few years ago now.

I have isolated myself since adolescence & have suffered from deppression, anxiety, self harm & have attempted suicide.

Recently I have been trying to reach out & rejoin the world (with mixed results), I started attending group therapy, did some volunteering, joined a gym etc.

But I am dogged by loneliness & struggle to make meaningful connections.

Everyday all I do is distract myself from feelings of intense sorrow & I am so tired of the constant fight to just stay afloat.

I feel more like a ghost than an actual living person, people are so selfish & the world so shallow.

I don't know how to find like minded people but I know I can't go on like this.

Any advice you might have would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

Parents
  • I can understand how you feel. I have felt very lonely sometimes and have suffered from depression. I really admire that you have made such a huge effort to rejoin the world - you are a brave person! 

    Personally, I have realised that I have had unrealistically high expectations when it comes to social connections in the past. I wondered often why I wasn't enjoying being with people. Now I realise that perhaps I don't have much in common with a lot of those people. Also, by lowering my expectations, I tend to enjoy social situations more.

    I would say you are doing the right thing but don't be too hard on yourself. It is not your responsibility to manage every social situation - plus there are some nice and understanding people out there. If you keep trying, you will make some good connections over time. Good luck! 

Reply
  • I can understand how you feel. I have felt very lonely sometimes and have suffered from depression. I really admire that you have made such a huge effort to rejoin the world - you are a brave person! 

    Personally, I have realised that I have had unrealistically high expectations when it comes to social connections in the past. I wondered often why I wasn't enjoying being with people. Now I realise that perhaps I don't have much in common with a lot of those people. Also, by lowering my expectations, I tend to enjoy social situations more.

    I would say you are doing the right thing but don't be too hard on yourself. It is not your responsibility to manage every social situation - plus there are some nice and understanding people out there. If you keep trying, you will make some good connections over time. Good luck! 

Children
  • Thanks for the kind words Andrew. This is what I am coming to terms with at the moment, 

    I have realised that I have had unrealistically high expectations when it comes to social connections in the past. I wondered often why I wasn't enjoying being with people. Now I realise that perhaps I don't have much in common with a lot of those people. Also, by lowering my expectations, I tend to enjoy social situations more.

    like you said if I keep trying then eventually I will come across people who I can connect with.