Not having any freedom and independence

Hello I am 20 years old going to be 21 years old in April this year and I am feeling really angry with everyone saying unhelpful and negative things to me when I only want to be more independent and have more freedom as I am now a grown up and when I say that I only want to be more independent and do more things for myself because unfortunately nobody else is going to take care of me at all. I am really sick of the same situation and abuse still going on and I really want this to end now as I also only want to have more control and power over my own life, learn more life skills and do more things for myself like look after myself more and to get on with my life without anyone trying to control me or tell me what to do, put me down, say things like I am only young as this makes me even more in rage because I am only asking people to treat me how I should be treated. I just wish that everyone would finally listen to a lot of things that I say a bit more properly like to change and improve things for me and to treat me how I should be treated like every other individual and to not do or say certain things to me anymore.

Parents
  • Firstly hi,

    Couple of things who is controlling and abusing you? And what do you mean by abuse? I just want to make sure no one is hurting you.

    I understand that you want to learn new skills and have more independence, have you tried talking to the people at home about this (sorry I don't know if you are living with family or elsewhere ) I know talking can sometimes be difficult as it is frustrating when you can't get other people to see your side. Have you tried writing a list of what you would like to achieve and why, this shows that you have thought things through and can help demonstrate that you are ready. Maybe try and meet in the middle on some things 

    I'm sorry if I am not much help but I do wish you luck

  • Thank you as I really want one of those situations like that to finally change as I have had the same thing in my teenage years before and when people say that it does not always work like that when it should do as humans are animals too. When I say that people is controlling and abusing me in a psychological way I mean that everyone around me is doing that to me and that is not right at all and I live with my mum.

  • What sort of things do you want to change, if you don't mind me asking? Is it just to be treated more like the adult you are and not like a child? 

    I can't pass comment on your personal situation but I can tell you that as a mum sometimes it's hard to accept that your children have grown up or to believe that they are capable of looking after themselves my eldest son is 22 now and when he was a teenager sometimes we struggled to find a balance between what I wanted to keep him safe and what he wanted. He was quite a shy lad although he is neurotypical so I didn't have the extra worries I'm not excusing your mum, limiting your freedom and treating you like a child is not helpful. I'm just explaining sometimes it's hard to let go.

    Try talking (without getting angry) I know that's hard when people don't listen or try a written dialogue I can show you are mature enough to handle things. If you still find she is controlling seek professional advice. 

    Good luck 

Reply
  • What sort of things do you want to change, if you don't mind me asking? Is it just to be treated more like the adult you are and not like a child? 

    I can't pass comment on your personal situation but I can tell you that as a mum sometimes it's hard to accept that your children have grown up or to believe that they are capable of looking after themselves my eldest son is 22 now and when he was a teenager sometimes we struggled to find a balance between what I wanted to keep him safe and what he wanted. He was quite a shy lad although he is neurotypical so I didn't have the extra worries I'm not excusing your mum, limiting your freedom and treating you like a child is not helpful. I'm just explaining sometimes it's hard to let go.

    Try talking (without getting angry) I know that's hard when people don't listen or try a written dialogue I can show you are mature enough to handle things. If you still find she is controlling seek professional advice. 

    Good luck 

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