Hi all!
I'm new to this community but so pleased to be a part of this forum!
I am a mum to a five year old boy called Jonathan who has recently been diagnosed with high functioning autism. He is very affectionate and loving and generally very easy to deal with (We have always been so lucky that he doesn't suffer meltdowns and is even natured!!). I would say that the main way he shows symptoms of being on the autistic spectrum is with speech and communication. He is verbal, has echolalia, has got a good grasp of the two languages he is learning (Welsh and English) and certainly can express what he wants with words at home but fluent conversations are yet to develop but will come, I'm sure! When he is tired, he can also certainly go into a zone where he is more unresponsive and harder to reach with speech. He has got great concentration for activities he really enjoys (he excells at jigsaws, doing 75 - 100 piece jigsaws on his own, loves drawing and painting, sorting games) and is generally doing well and keeping up with other children at mainstream school with one to one help. He has been accepted very well at school and is popular with other children. But on the other hand, he does need constant supervision, does not see danger and can create chaos if left to his own devices! (he loves the repetitive action of throwing things!!).
The main issue that is causing me concern at the moment is night time toilet training and I am wondering if anyone can offer me advice! After A GREAT DEAL of effort and patience, he mastered day time toilet training at around 3 and half years old and has really got it and is dependable! He can't stand having wet pants or trousers in the day! We consider ourselves very lucky to have got to this stage and know of many parents of children on the spectrum who still struggle with day time training - we really do count our blessings!
I just wish I had tried night time training sooner when we mastered it during the day but just put him in pull-ups at night. Just could not face dealing with that on top of the day training and also had another young child! At one stage, he would wake dry occasionally so I think he is mainly dry through the night but I think he wees just before waking up. He would also do number 2s in his nappy in the morning. I just can't understand this as he always goes to the toilet in the day. Now, he wakes every morning with a dirty nappy which is soul destroying! I have tried getting rid of the nappies at night but he still has dirty pants in the morning, have put a little toilet in his bedroom which he has used during the day and knows what it is for, have pleaded and discussed the need to go to the toilet, I get up as soon as I hear him wake but to no avail, have even set my alarm to wake up before him but no use. Even though he was fast asleep, he still has a dirty nappy!! He seems to be doing a lot of number 2s and goes to the toiled in the day even after having a dirty nappy - does this mean he has got bowel problems or just eats well?! When he was younger he had a strawberry birth mark on his bum and growing into his bowel, I wonder if this has something to do with it? An osteopath we saw while potty training said that it didn't help with feeling the sensations of when to go. What do I do? I feel shattered as I wake up early in anticipation! I don't understand why he doesn't come immediately to our room to change the nappy. He seems to revert back to being a baby in his bedroom, I know he finds it very comforting in there and likes time on his own in his bedroom. I know you can't expect children to master this before they are ready as it is a biological issue but do you have any tips or publications to help me. I really don't want him to get used to having a nappy in the morning. I am also exhausted with trying to help him with this issue but am trying not to be too concerned about it either!
Thank you so much
Siwan x