Does late diagnosis lead to trauma?

I think it can, and there are a few articles online that explore how autism relates to trauma and PTSD. Compared to neurotypical people, trauma in autistic people has different causes and plays out in different ways.

Some examples: 

  • Exclusion, exploitation or mistreatment by peers, leading to social phobia and mistrust of others
  • Isolation
  • Forcing oneself to put up with loud noises and bright light
  • Pressure and criticism from parents unaware of child's underlying limitations
  • Not knowing how to manage one's stress
  • Forcefully masking stress-relieving behaviours like stimming 
  • Suicidal thoughts in children, with no ability to rationalise or identify the root of these thoughts

Although there is a little research on the topic, I think it deserves more. I would guess that the above examples are all risk factors for depression, stress, alcoholism, heart disease, and a whole host of other health problems.

Parents
  • I was diagnosed yesterday aged 53

    Being extremely good at maths and coming from an academic family, I went into banking. My career started really well and I rose through the ranks with relative ease becoming the finance manager of a merchant bank. The problem that arose was that the higher I was promoted - the less I was using  my strengths (number crunching) and the more I was having to do things I was very poor at (board meetings, meeting solicitors, being responsible for other peoples mistakes etc)

    I pushed myself to the point of destruction and after some sort of meltdown I was forced to leave. I then spent 4 years looking after a my two children aged 6 months and 2 years at the time whilst my wife resumed her career

    I then became a postman which I have been doing for the past 20 years. I have struggled with anxiety most of my life which has gradually got worse to the point that I ended up being diagnosed ASD

    The question is - would I have taken the route into merchant banking if I had had a diagnosis during my school years? Probably not but would I have ended up in a better place? I don't know 

Reply
  • I was diagnosed yesterday aged 53

    Being extremely good at maths and coming from an academic family, I went into banking. My career started really well and I rose through the ranks with relative ease becoming the finance manager of a merchant bank. The problem that arose was that the higher I was promoted - the less I was using  my strengths (number crunching) and the more I was having to do things I was very poor at (board meetings, meeting solicitors, being responsible for other peoples mistakes etc)

    I pushed myself to the point of destruction and after some sort of meltdown I was forced to leave. I then spent 4 years looking after a my two children aged 6 months and 2 years at the time whilst my wife resumed her career

    I then became a postman which I have been doing for the past 20 years. I have struggled with anxiety most of my life which has gradually got worse to the point that I ended up being diagnosed ASD

    The question is - would I have taken the route into merchant banking if I had had a diagnosis during my school years? Probably not but would I have ended up in a better place? I don't know 

Children
  • Though I'm not good at Maths (unless I do nothing much else, than I am strangely enough), I do symphatise with what you're saying. 

    Whenever I was doing really well in a job or at university, anxiety would get the better of me and I'd stop and go do something else.

    I'm supposed to be not too stupid, but I ended up in call centers with some succesful freelance writing/editing on the side. The anxiety never faded though. I still felt I was going to be caught out and that they'd say I was acting and performing in the worst way possible.

    Sometimes being smart gets in the way. 

    Had you not gone into merchant banking, you'd have done somwthing else with Maths or numbers (Accountancy?), and you'd still have had that people's issue and get anxiety from that.

  • I got my diagnosis 3 years ago, aged 56.  I'm not good at maths (thanks to an incident that happened in my first year in primary school, which made me scared of numbers), but I'm good with words.

    If I'd been diagnosed earlier, and gotten the appropriate interventions, my life might have been so different.  Instead - in spite of a high IQ and a degree - I've had a life of menial, dead-end jobs and have never earned much above minimum wage.

    All the time, I ask myself the questions you're asking yourself. 

    What if?  What if?  What if?

    It's all an unknown, Piranello.  All we can do is live with what we have, and try to find a way through it.  As Kierkegaard said:  'Life can only be understood backwards, but it has to be lived forwards.'

    Concentrate on your strengths.  Utilise them in the best way you possibly can.

    Try to forget what you can never now know.

  • What would I have done differently had I known is a question I've been asking myself.  You can't change what's happened though.