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Struggling

NAS49789
over 5 years ago

Seven years ago I was raped by somebody I thought I could trust, since that incident I have avoided talking about it and refuse to go out with anybody who asks me i.e. a date or to get into an intimate relationship. Admittingly it hasn't been easy for me as prior to what happened I had literally been ping-ponged between services and seeing different mental health professionals. I had been given several diagnoses, everthing from bipolar, depression to borderline personality disorder to schizotypal & schizoid to finally being told more recently my features are indicitive of personality disorder not otherwise specified. That was my 6-7 or something psychiatric opinion!...

Last year my GP referred me to the adult autism diagnostic clinic as a close friend of mine suspected that was what I was struggling with and I had a 2 hour long assessment with a specialist clinical psychologist who diagnosed me with high-functioning autism, social anxiety and possible dyspraxia pending further evaluation. The clinician said that it is common for females in particular to be missed under the spotlight because the signs of autism are not as identifiable in girls as in boys and that difficulties can be subtle and present itself in different ways so she wasn't suprised that it had taken the length of time it did for me to get tested for an autism spectrum disorder. I was given recommendations such as accessing support from NAS and to seek adapted CBT for my anxiety. Unfortunately the clinic only offers assessment and diagnosis not treatment or intervention...After trying to access psychological support I've given up as they say they don't work with people with a diagnosis of autism because their service is not suitable, they only offer time-limited cbt for mild-moderate depression or anxiety and suggested I try MIND or talk to my GP. 

My local MIND only offer time limited sessions with a key worker, although they run workshops and groups I can't attend them because I get anxious, plus I'm at uni 5 days a week so my time is taken up there. I'm really finding it hard to cope with my anxiety and fear in social situations and going out in public. I've lost trust in people since the incident and whenever I hear or see something on the news, read the newspaper and rape pops up or when crossing paths with certain people that remind me of the man who did it, it just brings back horrible memories and I find that I am stuck in a vicious cycle of avoiding thd public and going out because obviously there are important things I can not avoid such as appointments and uni, although thankfully I get DSA and I get transport to pick me up and take me back home so not too bad. I just can't sleep very well and sometimes I have nightmares and struggle to feel anything apart from anger. I feel like it is all my fault and all I want is for it to go away.

Don't know who to talk to. I don't have anybody to talk to about this

  • over 5 years ago

    Dear NAS49789,

    I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling to get some support

    Misfit61 and ElephantinTheRoom have provided you with some valuable advise directing you the Samaritans and other resources. 

    You may like to contact our Autism Helpline team who shpould be able to advise you on how to get some support . You can contact the team via telephone on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor. Alternatively, should you prefer to send a message, you can do so via their webform:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx

    Furthermore, you may find it useful to access some counseling to support you emotionally with what you have experienced. We have an online Autism Services directory where we can search for counsellors with experience of supporting autistic individuals: www.autism.org.uk/directory Please search under the category ‘Health’, then ‘Counsellors’, and then use the location options to refine the search by area. 

    Also, you mentioned in your post that your were raped seven years ago. I have also included a couple of links to some organisations that you may like to have a look at for some support :

    Victim Support: Victim Support can give both practical help and advice, as well as emotional support to help you with coping with the situation. The practical support that Victim Support can offer includes helping you to deal with the police if you decide to report incidents. You can contact Victim Support on: 08 08 16 89 111. You can also email their Supportline via their online enquiry form, here: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/help-and-support/get-help/supportline/email-supportline 

    Safeline: Safeline is a specialised charity working to prevent sexual abuse and to support those affected in their recovery. Safeline have accessible services for people with disabilities: https://www.safeline.org.uk/

    I hope this has been of some help to you, and we hope that you are able to find the support you need to get through this very hard and challenging time.

    Kind regards,

    Ayshe Mod

  • over 5 years ago in reply to NAS49789

    Yes. Currently in a challenging relationship  which has meant on occasion incidents of harm - mental, physical and sexual.

    currently suicide risk low, anxiety levels pretty high following an initial IAPT assessment this morning. Given details of a support agency for paragraph one issues.

    hang in there. Also- your uni has a safeguarding obligation so you being on a foundation course is a no brainer! You are still a human being with support needs and  enrolled on one of their programmes if study. Having support from them is a benefit for them also if you are going to be a successful graduate! 

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Misfit61

    Hi 

    Thanks. The uni does have a counselling service but because I'm foundation year right now I can't access it. I can go to their workshops & events but that's it.

    Is there anybody on here who has experienced similar to me? I just feel so isolated with all of this.

  • over 5 years ago

    First of all well done for keeping a routine going and carrying on at uni even though you are anxious and had a tough time. 

    Try action for Aspergers 

    https://www.actionforaspergers.org/  they may be able to help. 

    There are meditation, mindfulness, sleep , apps, websites and YouTube videos which might be helpful. 

    Does your uni have a Psychological service? 

    Samaraitans are great for someone to talk to , you don’t have to be suicidal, they are calm, neutral but supportive and there anytime. 

    Also just reading the many threads on here about women and their experiences getting diagnosed and people’s struggles with mental health.. might help to hear about them some of which is practical advice.

    I hope you find a way forward.