Hi.
My son (now 19) was formally diagnosed with Asperger's at age 10, although GP suspected it at age 8. Before then I would have just described him as unique and a bit eccentric. We had had problems with him but we just got on and dealt with them. On the odd occasion I questionned certain things (e.g with the health visitor or school) going on with him I was dismissed and it was only when things got really bad at school that I took him to the G.P.
Anyway. I now have 2 daughters and I am beginning to wonder about my eldest daughter, who will be 6 in October. There have always been similarities between my son and my daughter and many of these similarities could be described as ASD traits, but they are brother and sister and therefore I would expect there to be certain personality similarites anyway. There have also been certain moments that have sent the ASD alarms ringing so to speak. However I am also aware that having parented one child with ASD I am maybe noticing things more than any other parent. However I am also aware it is difficult for me to judge what is 'normal' and maybe I accept certain things as 'normal' that other parents may not just because that is 'normal' for us. Also I developed my parenting skills by parenting a child with ASD and therefore I suspect that I parent my daughter in a similar was. At the moment she is quite happy and until now I have just accepted her as she is (a bit quirky) but I am now thinking about getting her assessed as I am concerned about the possibilities of problems to come if she does have ASD, but I am also wondering if I'm just being a bit of a neurotic mum.
As for similarities, like my son, she is noise sensitive (still has to go in another room when I hoover, and hates handdryers), she is a very fussy eater (to an extent that she only likes certain brands of some things and has a very limited diet)and has the odd strange habit (e.g. has a habit of licking things although she doesn't do it as much now and only when she thinks I'm not looking, apart from me that is she does lick my hands). As for special interests, nothing odd but I do wonder about the intensity of her interest in anything to do with princesses. She is very rigid like my son, in contrast to my younger daughter who is much easier going and adaptable. She does do imaginative play and does not/did not do the lining up toys thing, but it has to be on her terms and she can't adapt to other's input. She said to me recently that she hates it when other children say they're going to do something in a game and then when they start playing they change it. She has no trouble being apart from me when she goes to school but hates it if I leave the house while she is there (she will often spend the time while I'm away making up 'welcome back home' songs and will be overly affectionate when I get back, even if I have only been away for half an hour). She gets very jealous of her younger sister and still hates it when I am talking on the phoen to someone else. But she is different to how my son was socially at her age. She is actually the complete opposite (my son would be on the outskirts of the activity). But I am wondering whether this could be a female version of social problems. Her issue is she can be overfriendly. This may have been cute when she was 3 or 4, especially to adults or other children, but it's beginning to look a bit odd now. She will talk to anyone (and won't stop unless dragged away), she has a habit of imposing herself on other children (some accept this, but others may try and pull away and she doesn't seem to notice), she will start talking to another child (e.g. at the check out) and suddenly this child is her best friend and she is asking when can she can come round to play. Her teachers seem to think that she gets on well with the other children, which is one of the reasons I haven't done anything so far, but I wonder whether they just don't look closely enough. I sometimes spot the 'she's wierd' look in their eyes when she suddenly runs up to them being a bit over affectionate. She is also over compliant with others and accepts anything other children say to her without question. This recently resulted in her being coerced into some sexplay with a boy the same age as her that she didn't want to do but 'he told her to do it' and she 'didn't want to hurt his feelings'. This was obviously most worrying and is what has prompted me to start approaching assessment. But I still worry that I'm just being a bit neurotic. Most information talks about children with ASD being socially withdrawn and reluctant to engage with children of the same age. There doesn't be anything to suggest that children with ASD could also be overly friendly although I'm sure I did meet another girl with Asperger's who was very similar to my daughter years ago and in my mind being so overly friendly that you make others feel uncomfortable is a social problem. I wonder if any here have daughter's who are the same.
Apologies for the ramble