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new member & frustrated mum.

peanut55

hi i am new to this site Laughing. i am a mum to a 10 yr old boy , despite having numerous  meetings with different professionals since he was 4 , we do not have a diagnosis ,he displays all the traits for aspergers ..... apart from two ,which i think is holding us back ... he will make eye contact with u & have a conversation , albeit more one sided & in a monotone gravely voice &  only about his favourite subject which is top gear & cars , it is his "obsession" at the moment.

i had a meeting today with cams tier 2 who thinks i should get a 2nd opinion, so i have rang my dr. for a referral & now we just wait & wait & wait.!

hi is really struggling with school , i feel they have failed him , his reading & writing are apalling but his maths is very good. despite lots of meetings with the head & the senco he is being labelled as the "naughty boy". who thinks that he is "manipulative" & " wont make secondary school" &" if this behaviour continues willl be excluded"..... all her own words !! ......................... summer holidays cant come quick enough ..... although that brings its own share of problems with homelife !!!! Smile 

would appreciate any comments as this is my first post on here , thankyou.

  • hi peanut55

    i have a 10 year daughter and have finally have been give a diagnosis today which im  really happy with as ive been trying for years to get her help i had to go to the doctors then my paediatrician he was shocked with the school who havent been any help at all so i asked for a 2nd opinion and was lucky enough to get sent to G.S.O.H which they r now going to help with school etc so keep going on for the help n 2nd opinion x

  • Welcome to the forum peanut :)

    I know how you feel because I'm battling right now to get my daughter seen by specialists and like your son she is really starting to struggle in school. My daughter's teacher is under the impression she cannot do maths at all that she has no idea of the value of numbers, so that if you asked her which was greater 23 or 58 she would not know. That simply isn't true, the problem she is having is that she gets easily frustrated with maths because she finds it incredibly boring and as such zones out and then she can't think straight. She also has incredible problems with sensory processing in that sitting in a noisy classroom makes her feel ill and dizzy (overwhelmed) and again she cannot concentrate on her work. She also needs things explaining in a different way or in a much more visual way or she will misunderstand what's expected of her. All of this has the cumilative effect of slowing her down, she was above average for reading & writing but now she's going down because she simply can't cope with school anymore and is finding everything so difficult.

    Have you told the school about your suspicions he's on the spectrum? Do they know how to deal with children on the spectrum and behaviours/issues that can arise? We haven't openly told our daughter's school but have said she has sensory processing issues and is currently undergoing alot of psychiatric evaluations. We are supposed to be having a meeting next week with the head teacher and her new teacher to get some steps in place to help her with the sensory issues.

    The CAMHS has been a complete joke really, a psychiatrist who notes my daughter has obsessions and sensory issues (as well as lots of other traits) but doesn't think she will get an ASD diagnosis because of her imagination and good eye contact. The play therapist she was seeing over her extreme hospital anxiety/hysterical reactions gave up after 2 weeks and said there was nothing she could do, as a result the GP has had to prescribe diazepam for future hospital visits. The occupational therapists for the sensory issues would not give us an appointment unless we went to a talk on sensory processing, we did that and still have not been offered an appointment.

    The only good thing is my daughter's GP, she really is fantastic and has been behind us every step and now that it's obvious CAMHS are just going to mess us about she's looking into getting my daughter referred to a specialist autism clinic.

    It's really hard and incredibly frustrating at times but we know our kids better then anyone so don't give up, just keep making a fuss until he's seen by someone who knows what they are talking about (i.e autism specialist), good luck :)

  • Hi Peanut 55,

    If I were you, I would keep pestering the doctors constantly explaining your frustration and the need to see the appropriate professional urgently.  We chased our doctors up recently and the secretaries for the report, so that we can at last (after a year) have this sorted before the end of the school term for a fresh start next year.  My persistant but polite nagging seemed to pay off! x

    Whether it is Aspergers, I honestly wouldnt be able to say.  My son only shows a few of the traits and the doctor diagnosed him as "mild" aspergers. I am expecting an official letter tomorrow, so will be interested to see what they actually diagnose.

    My sons main traits are "twiddling" any random peice of string, toy snake, straps on bag, shred of a black bag, strip of paper, and making imaginative play type noises at the same time. ie. if he is into pokemon, he will make pokemon noises while twiddling close to face, if its Lightening McQueen, it will be car noises.  He is also behind in his school work, mainly his writing and scentences, although the teachers say he has fab genera knowledge and vocab.

    He definately likes his own space, but also loves to mix with his friends and is always going for tea or his friends coming to ours for tea.  If he has been out alot at say the week end, he loves to come home to go to his room to twiddle.

    He is really funny, but sometimes in an adult way, so we adults may find it funnier than children. 

    With regard to his behaviour though, he has never been called naughty.  In fact, although a little excitable, he is generally really well behaved. Although, from reading on here, I understand that some children with Aspergers can struggle to control their emotions and can sometimes appear a little aggressive.

    Good luck, I really hope you get the help you need.

    x