I think I have an ASD, what should I do?

I was never into dolls and I despise Barbie, although I had some teddy bears.  I occasionally engaged in pretend play but not very often.  Mostly I played by myself. I was a tomboy and I preferred making things.  I was particularly fond of inventing things and constructing, and was (in)famous for conducting experiments with various things I found round the house, in particular from the kitchen and the bathroom.  I drove my parents mad with this

I also had several dolls, my favourite being a doll called Sarah, which I was given age 2. I took her everwhere with me, apart from to school. I pushed her in a toy pram until I was about 11 years old.  I made up stories about Sarah, and I also made up what I called 'walking games', where I would walk with my parents and tell a story about one girl called Jill (always Jill) who went on the train to various locations where she would eat or fall out with her brother. When she went on a train or a bus I would shake my mum's hand and make train or bus noises. I did this until I was  11 years old.

Azaezl: You are quite right to be very angry at this treatment, this sounds despicable to me. Of course people with Aspergers can and do have imagination; it is just we tend to play in a different way to people without AS, often on our own, or with just one other person who we are very familiar with. I could certainly make up very good stories as a child: I used to tell stories to my Mum when we went on walks, asking her what type of story she would like me to tell.  I have lost this creative ability, probably through lack of practice. I could write good poems as a child too. However, the quality of my play was unusual, according to my mum. I would play teddies with my younger brother when I was 11 years old, and we would always play the same game: a teddy tea-party, related to my obsession with food. All the teddies were lined up in a long line and walked to the tea-cloth and sat around it, and the plastic  cutlery, tea-pot and plates and plastic food were laid out. Always the same. I sometimes played teachers with a girl at school (who I often fell out with) whenever she was invited to my house. But the game did not vary much.

Scorpion0x17 said:

Every person the an ASD is different and has a different mix of ASD traits.

Those that are in the diagnostic criteria are simply the core diagnostic traits.

You don't have to have all of them to be on the spectrum, but if you only have one of them, then you're probably so close to neurotypical that it doesn't make sense to label you as autistic.

Or, in other words, the diagnostic criteria presents a stereotypical view of ASDs, and so it doesn't mean that in order to have an ASD you must meet all the criteria, but, rather, that all people with ASDs will have some of the listed traits.

This is basically what's keeping me going with getting my daughter assesesd because people who are not specialists just see the list of traits and have some stupid idea that ALL must be present. 

I wanted to call up the Dr after her report and say "right so my daughter having intense obsessions, repetative movements, misunderstandings, social awkwardness, many sensory problems, meltdowns, anxiety, literal thinking etc is ALL null and void because she can maintain eye contact and pretend play...yeah that sounds perfectly logical!" - although in my mind there is alot of swearing and shouting, it's just outrageous how narrow minded people can be. At one point she was asking me about our financial situation because the stress can affect children, I wanted to slap her at that point, I mean really.... all those problems/traits my daughter has being caused by us potentially not having the money to pay a bill...what planet are you living on you quack!

Sorry that was a bit of a rant it's just so annoying the amount of ignorance I've encountered.

LoCommotion said:

What is meant exactly by not having an imagination?  

I'm not entirely sure but it keeps cropping up. At my own assesment the Dr. was being a bit iffy simply because I have written a series of books. It was only after my husband explained to her how obsessed I was with the technical /research side of it (such as looking up mythical stories and creatures, spending hours finding character names with specific meanings, looking up the distance & time a car can do a specific journey and calculating how fast a mythical creature could realistically do the same journey in)  and how I struggled with the basic story structure that she was satisfied that my imagination was that of someone on the spectrum (whatever the heck that means). 

My daughter's psychiatrist is being iffy about an ASD because(apart from the eye contact) she can play pretend games. Like making up stories and characters but what she was failing to take on board is that 90% of the time she is either playing out something she has watched or done at school or mashing together bits from different movies, real life situations, etc. 

Plus like I said I don't agree with this myth that people on the spectrum don't have an imagination, from what I've read on other forums many (particularly girls/women) on the spectrum have quite a vivid imagination with a very rich fantasy world.

@ Scorpion: Point taken - in my case it's all about trying to understand myself and finding answers to the various difficulties I've faced in life.  This probably sounds cliched but it's true.

My GF is Bi Polar II. When she got diagnosed she had to have a particular number of traits, but not all. 

I would imagine ASD is similar, as Scorpion is saying.

Every person the an ASD is different and has a different mix of ASD traits.

Those that are in the diagnostic criteria are simply the core diagnostic traits.

You don't have to have all of them to be on the spectrum, but if you only have one of them, then you're probably so close to neurotypical that it doesn't make sense to label you as autistic.

Or, in other words, the diagnostic criteria presents a stereotypical view of ASDs, and so it doesn't mean that in order to have an ASD you must meet all the criteria, but, rather, that all people with ASDs will have some of the listed traits.

I can make eye-contact with people I know well and who I am relaxed with. But this all depends on context and how stressed I am. When talking I find it very difficult making eye-contact, and often find eye-contact distracting. I can make fleeting eye-contact with casual, relaxed encounters, like with customers at Age UK, where I volunteer.

I could pretend play as a child: I played teachers, shops, home etc. But I was always in control and could only play with one other person. Games were repetitive and often followed the same theme. I don't think it is true that people with AS completely lack imagination, which is multifaceted, having many components.

LoCommotion said:

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This as well as the myth that people on the spectrum do not have an imagination is something I'm battling against right now.

What is meant exactly by not having an imagination?  I can see things very clearly in pictures in my head.  If you ask me to picture a car I can imagine one, though I would want to know what make and model.  I'm not very good at making up stories though, and I'm the world's worst liar

Getting back to the discussion about eye contact, I had the ultimate critical situation today as far as this is concerned:  a job interview.  I was very conscious of maintaining the appropiate eye contact throughout and I hope I didn't overdo it and stare.  One of the interviewers was sitting parallel to me and could see my hands so I wasn't able to fidget under the table as I usually do when nervous.  Job interviews are a nightmare and I fret over them a lot but I have to do them if I want a job.  I feel so self-conscious and awkward and worry in case I say the wrong thing.  Also, I have the tendency to over-elaborate and repeat myself, or I start a sentence and don't know to end it.  And I worry about what to wear.

Firstly, hope your inteview went well, good luck

I can totally relate with how you feel with interview, I am always trying to maintain the right level of eye contact (not too little and definitely not too much!) and I never really know where to put my hands.

Once, during an interview I tried using my hands to emphasise what I was saying through hand gestures. I thought it might help me come accross better. And I nearly knocked a glass of water off the table!

As for imagination, I can make up some stories which give my friends a laugh (and sometimes annoy) which makes me wonder if I can't have an ASD because of this, but surely some people can tell stories/jokes?

Thanks Brian, the interview seemed ok to me, but I'm not not very good at picking up on the vibes.   I'll probably find out tomorrow if I got it or not.

When you say make up stories are you making them up as you go along or are you recounting them?  I can tell jokes and recount stories too, though I'm a hopeless actress and find it hard to give the joke the correct intonation to make it funny.  It's much harder to make them up.

Well, all the best hope you get it. :)

Well I can actually make up stories to an extent. Not very detailed and they're usually exaggerations of situations that have happened. I can also retell stories of things that have happened, but my explanation of it is usually muddled and difficult to fully understand.

My tone seems to always be serious, or at best, neutral. Which can make telling stories or even communicating difficult sometimes. 

Simmilar to the making up stories situation. I don't like fiction books, but I do like sitcoms on TV , infact my favourite one is quite a big interest of mine.

:)

BrianSmith said:

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This as well as the myth that people on the spectrum do not have an imagination is something I'm battling against right now.

What is meant exactly by not having an imagination?  I can see things very clearly in pictures in my head.  If you ask me to picture a car I can imagine one, though I would want to know what make and model.  I'm not very good at making up stories though, and I'm the world's worst liar

Getting back to the discussion about eye contact, I had the ultimate critical situation today as far as this is concerned:  a job interview.  I was very conscious of maintaining the appropiate eye contact throughout and I hope I didn't overdo it and stare.  One of the interviewers was sitting parallel to me and could see my hands so I wasn't able to fidget under the table as I usually do when nervous.  Job interviews are a nightmare and I fret over them a lot but I have to do them if I want a job.  I feel so self-conscious and awkward and worry in case I say the wrong thing.  Also, I have the tendency to over-elaborate and repeat myself, or I start a sentence and don't know to end it.  And I worry about what to wear.

Firstly, hope your inteview went well, good luck

I can totally relate with how you feel with interview, I am always trying to maintain the right level of eye contact (not too little and definitely not too much!) and I never really know where to put my hands.

Once, during an interview I tried using my hands to emphasise what I was saying through hand gestures. I thought it might help me come accross better. And I nearly knocked a glass of water off the table!

As for imagination, I can make up some stories which give my friends a laugh (and sometimes annoy) which makes me wonder if I can't have an ASD because of this, but surely some people can tell stories/jokes?

Thanks Brian, the interview seemed ok to me, but I'm not not very good at picking up on the vibes.   I'll probably find out tomorrow if I got it or not.

When you say make up stories are you making them up as you go along or are you recounting them?  I can tell jokes and recount stories too, though I'm a hopeless actress and find it hard to give the joke the correct intonation to make it funny.  It's much harder to make them up.

LoCommotion said:

[quote][/quote]

This as well as the myth that people on the spectrum do not have an imagination is something I'm battling against right now.

What is meant exactly by not having an imagination?  I can see things very clearly in pictures in my head.  If you ask me to picture a car I can imagine one, though I would want to know what make and model.  I'm not very good at making up stories though, and I'm the world's worst liar

Getting back to the discussion about eye contact, I had the ultimate critical situation today as far as this is concerned:  a job interview.  I was very conscious of maintaining the appropiate eye contact throughout and I hope I didn't overdo it and stare.  One of the interviewers was sitting parallel to me and could see my hands so I wasn't able to fidget under the table as I usually do when nervous.  Job interviews are a nightmare and I fret over them a lot but I have to do them if I want a job.  I feel so self-conscious and awkward and worry in case I say the wrong thing.  Also, I have the tendency to over-elaborate and repeat myself, or I start a sentence and don't know to end it.  And I worry about what to wear.

Firstly, hope your inteview went well, good luck :)

I can totally relate with how you feel with interview, I am always trying to maintain the right level of eye contact (not too little and definitely not too much!) and I never really know where to put my hands.

Once, during an interview I tried using my hands to emphasise what I was saying through hand gestures. I thought it might help me come accross better. And I nearly knocked a glass of water off the table!

As for imagination, I can make up some stories which give my friends a laugh (and sometimes annoy) which makes me wonder if I can't have an ASD because of this, but surely some people can tell stories/jokes?

Azpie said:

This as well as the myth that people on the spectrum do not have an imagination is something I'm battling against right now.

What is meant exactly by not having an imagination?  I can see things very clearly in pictures in my head.  If you ask me to picture a car I can imagine one, though I would want to know what make and model.  I'm not very good at making up stories though, and I'm the world's worst liar

Getting back to the discussion about eye contact, I had the ultimate critical situation today as far as this is concerned:  a job interview.  I was very conscious of maintaining the appropiate eye contact throughout and I hope I didn't overdo it and stare.  One of the interviewers was sitting parallel to me and could see my hands so I wasn't able to fidget under the table as I usually do when nervous.  Job interviews are a nightmare and I fret over them a lot but I have to do them if I want a job.  I feel so self-conscious and awkward and worry in case I say the wrong thing.  Also, I have the tendency to over-elaborate and repeat myself, or I start a sentence and don't know to end it.  And I worry about what to wear.

Hope said:

You can have autism and make good eye-contact; it is a myth that all people with ASC can't look people in the eye.

This as well as the myth that people on the spectrum do not have an imagination is something I'm battling against right now. My daughter's psychiatrist has stated that she has significant sensory problems and circumbscribed interests(obsessions) but probably won't meet the threshold for ASD because she can maintain eye contact and can engage in imaginative play.

She can maintain eye contact in a specific setting and if the circumstances are right. On a bad day she will not look most people in the eyes or will keep looking away on a good day she will look you in the eyes for a fair amount of time but her eyes wonder around the room too, it's just not as obvious on a good day. I have problems with eye contact I can force myself to do it but it makes me feel horrendously uncomfortable and I have to keep looking away and that's on a good day for me. On a bad day I can't maintain eye contact for more then a few seconds even with people I've known for years.

With regards to speech and eye contact. I had pretty normal speech except I spoke far too quietly with people outside the family and often very loud to family members.

I also didn't always respond to my name being called - particularly if I was foccussed on something else.

I still don't make good eye contact, I feel uncomfortable doing it sometimes incase I'm staring.

All my reports much like yours LoCommotion, mention that I was quiet etc and that I didn't ask for help when needed too.

Scorpion0x17 said:

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What is usually the case ,however, is that we  can't read peoples' eyes or get any information from them.

And some, myself included, don't make eye contact because we get too much information from them!

(none of it makes any sense, to me, though)

I do look people in the eyes when they are talking to me but unless they are obviously crying or laughing or angry I can't tell what they are feeling or thinking.  If I'm distressed, emotional, there is something else going on in the room or I'm thinking about what to say I find it much more difficult to make eye contact.

Hope said:

What is usually the case ,however, is that we  can't read peoples' eyes or get any information from them.

And some, myself included, don't make eye contact because we get too much information from them!

(none of it makes any sense, to me, though)

You can have autism and make good eye-contact; it is a myth that all people with ASC can't look people in the eye.

What is usually the case ,however, is that we  can't read peoples' eyes or get any information from them.

Teachers commented on my lack of eye-contact at school but I can now make good eye contact, although this all depends on  the context and how stressed I am. I can't read the eyes at all or give out information with my own eyes like others can.

I wish to add to Scorpion's remarks that it is only very recently that Asperger's has been known to the field of psychology, and also the parents and educators.  The crucial difference between Asperger's and classic autism is speech development so if a child growing up before about year 2000 had normal speech development then it would never occur to anyone that he or she might be autistic.  That child would just be considered a bit of an oddball, disruptive, very shy or rather a loner.

I have an old school report from when I was in middle school about 12 years old in which every teacher says I'm quiet, don't participate enough in class and lack self-confidence. 

About a year before this report was issued my parents took me to the doctor's but didn't tell me why I was going.  I had been getting behind at school and so my parents decided I should have private tuition.  I can't remember much about the first session except that I was left with her at her house and I was stressed and not very cooperative.  This teacher told my parents she thought I was autistic and I should see a doctor.  My parents took me to my GP and he told them he didn't think I was autistic because I answered his questions and made eye contact.  I think he was expecting to see a child with limited speech and no eye contact at all.

I wonder, does a child making eye contact at that age rule out autism?  This is one thing which casts doubt on whether I have an ASD or not.

Anyway, it's easy to see how someone with milder symptoms of autism could have slipped the net at that time.  I suspect there are many adults out there with similar stories to tell.

Here is a quote from Scorpion on a similar thread I started:

Scorpion0x17 said:

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I find it strange that I have got to 27 and no one has ever questioned me. Even with all my problems at school, I wasn’t tested for anything. 

Let me guess - though you struggled, you kept yourself to yourself, internalised everything, tried to get on with life, and generally didn't kick up a fuss every five minutes?

If I'm right, that's why - it's seems, in the predominantly neurotypical world in which we live, you only get help if you kick, and scream, and shout - and those that kick the hardest, and scream, and shout, the loudest get the most help.

I was like that (kept to myself, didn't make a fuss, internalised, and tried to get on with life), and didn't get diagnosed until I was nearly 40!

I am in the early stages of diagnosis but am pretty sure I am on the spectrum. I cant speak for others but as I did well in school (although I hardly went to any clases as I hated it so much) and wasnt a trouble maker I wasnt a target for any kind of assesment. Scorpion's statement is a very valid one!