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Am I ASD?

Hooly

Hello, I am a 40-year-old male who has always suspected I am not quite normal. I am not autistic in any of ways I see it portayed (or reported) in the popular media but I do have many difficulties, and I do not know if a diagnosis of ASD/Aspergers/whatever would be helpful to me. I am also very reluctant to seek medical advice because I have managed - so far - to muddle through life. I would welcome any advice or information, but I will first provide some examples of who I am, and what troubles me.

1. I have a severe dislike of casual tactile contact. I can tolerate a handshake (if I am prepared for it) if it is brief, but I cannot tolerate a hug because it makes me feel intensely uncomfortable, I just 'freeze up', my body simply goes rigid as my muscles lock up.

2. I dread new social situations because I do not know how to respond to people, or how to even initiate conversation with others. I am always self-checking 'was that appropriate' and I have no barometer to know if it was or was not. For me it's like skipping through a DVD of "appropriate human behaviour" and trying to select the correct answer, but I never really get it right.

3. I have no problem talking with the people I work with as long as the talk is about work - as soon as it goes into 'casual chat' I have no idea what to say, as it seems to me that most of what they are saying is not, in fact, being said. So I have to try to work out what they're not saying, and it's really difficult becuase I always say what I mean.

4. I have done a bunch of those fun on-line IQ tests...and I don't really place much stock in them...the one I score perfect on every time is to do with spacial awareness. The one I do worst on - no better than chance - is when I'm shown a picture of a person's face and asked to guess what emotion they're showing. If there's no context then I just can't tell.

The things I really would like advice on are a bit wierd...

When someone says to me, "How are you?". I don't understand this. I always used to answer honestly but figured out (it took a long time) that it's just a verbal handshake, they're not really interested in how you are or asking for an honest answer. They just want the response, "I'm fine, how are you?". Except sometimes that really is what they're asking. I still can't tell the difference.

This is really odd, and it's to do with hearing. The thing that fills me with most terror is being in any place where lots of people are talking at the same time. I was in a really busy conference room recently; I couldn't hear a single thing anyone was saying, it was like listening to cicadas...just white noise. I was in a restaurant with my colleauges afterwards and it went: 1. Fine, I can hear what you're saying (the place was empty). 2. The conversations started zinging to-and-fro in a way that made me feel dizzy (the place was filling up). 3. I couldn't understand what anyone was saying. I usually just say a lie, "I have really bad hearing" but I don't, I have excellent hearing, but when the person next to you is bellowing in your ear and you *still* can't understand them it's horrible. It's not that I can't hear the words it's just that they stop linking up to make any kind of meaningful sentence.

I don't know what that is, I think maybe the problem is that I'm hearing all of the words at the same time. Does anyone else have the same experience? And I would really welcome any help anyone can give at any time. I've got halfway through life but - and particularly in regard to the 'hearing' thing - if there are things that work for your that might work for me I would be very interested to hear. Please answer!

  • Hi Hooly,

    Three things I should say upfront are: 1. I'm not trained in diagnosing autistic spectrum disorders, 2. a full diagnosis would require more information than you've provided, and 3. the 'symptoms' you described may well be down to something else.

    But, those are all classic ASD symptoms!

    I was diagnosed with Asperger's a couple of years ago, and the only one of those things that I don't experience is the tactile contact thing.

    And I wish I could offer you some advice - but I've yet to find answers to those types of questions myself!

    Anyway, I just wanted to let you know your suspicions about being ont he spectrum are probably correct from the sound of it, and you're almost certainly at the high-functioning/Asperger's end of it.

    Now, you say you're reluctant to seek medical advice and don't know whether a diagnosis would be helpful, and that really very much depends on you, and you're 'life position', as it were.

    I found, for myself, getting a diagnosis helped in two ways: 1. I finally had an answer to why I felt 'different' all my life, and 2. it has meant I have started to get a little more support (though I would like more), and the right type of support.

    So, if you're happy just knowing you're different without knowing for sure why, and you have no need to access support or have any difficulties with seeing doctors, or anything like that, then there really is no need to get a formal diagnosis.

    However, just from the very fact that you're posting here, I suspect you probably do want that definite answer as to why you feel 'different', and getting a diagnosis would allow others to give you more certain advice, and for you to be more certain about any advice you receive (because any advice should tailored according to the underlying cause of a problem).

    One thing you may wish to do, if you haven't already, is do the Autism Quotient test, here: http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

    It's not a diagnostic test, but is often used for screening - and, if you do then wish to get a diagnosis, you may find it usefull to print out the results (oh, and, if you go down that route, go to your GP, show them the results and ask to be refered to a psychologist that at least has some understanding of the full range of Autistic Spectrum Disorders (you may get refered to a psychologist, but autism, in all it's forms, is not a mental health disorder, and this can lead to misdiagnosis and incorrect treatment)).